And Back We Go

Quick Update:

I should be packing but since I know Sarah has been trying to get a hold of me, I'll try to update quickly.

We are all moving back to Colorado this week. CS was offered a job in Florence that seems to be a really good opportunity for him. It doesn't pay as much as the job that brought him down here did but it pays well enough for us to get by for a while. So Jacob and I are flying out on Wednesday and CS's dad is flying down to help CS get the U-Haul back to CO. We're both sad to be leaving the South, since it's warm here in wintertime and they have a beach! I'm bummed because I just found a church to go to and I was hopefully going to start making friends. Cute babies are good for things like that. Of course, it will be good to be around my family and the friends I have in Colorado. However, it does place me smack back into the same place I was years ago when I decided to get away and live someplace new. We're also going to live with CS's parents this time around. As far as I know, they are letting us sleep in the same room together, although there was a conversation where his mom wasn't sure. Apparently, we are a bad influence on his sister. I think we all know that separate bedrooms do not keep adults from being intimate so maybe she realized this and decided against two rooms.

However, if the bed is only a twin? Then CS will be sleeping on the couch. There is not enough room for me, Jacob and CS. No way, no how.

Wait, I've Been Here Before.

CS did not leave this morning. The office called him yesterday and told him that the man who runs the classes for the job training he must do before going to work had to leave fora personal, family emergency and CS didn't need to leave until they could reschedule the class.

Obviously, this is not what I want to hear. So now we're playing the waiting game until Monday to see if they have another place for training. Certainly, this cannot last much longer, can it? Haven't we gone through enough?

It's Your Lucky Day

It's hard to believe that CS is leaving tomorrow for Mississippi. Mostly because he never pre-packs, except for that one bag he packed over a week ago and has been causing me grief every day because it takes up valuable floor space in a teeny tiny room. I will be glad the bag is gone, but not the owner of the bag and it's content. Six weeks apart is a lot longer than a week. Of course, I won't be alone. Although my mom is going to be in school two nights a week and working late on night so I will have at least three days of Jess and Jacob: ALL DAY LONG AND INTO THE NIGHT. I'm thinking that maybe I should move in with CS's parents now because while my mom loves Jacob and helps me a lot, his mom would totally take over every aspect of childcare if I wanted her to.

Here We Go Again

So CS got laid off yesterday. The contracts the company had for the next few months fell through and they don't have anymore work for him. So he got on the phone and started calling people he worked with in the past and found a company that's hiring for a job in Port Arthur, Texas. The Fort Collins idea won't work because they only want to pay him $24 an hour which does not cut it for us. See: Truck, Student Loans, Rent. But the job in Texas pays well and gives per diem. So as long as he can get on with them, we're going. Not sure when, because it's Christmas and all. But bills don't just disappear during Christmas time.

I'm ok with leaving. Of course it makes me sad to leave with Jacob because I know everyone is going to miss him. Especially my mom because we're living here and she gets to see him on a daily basis while CS's parents see him about twice a week. I'm sure they will miss him, but it can't be the same. I'm going to miss having people I know around, but I know that we aren't leaving forever. Ideally, I'd only like to leave long enough to get out of debt from the baby and CS leaving LPR. Save a little money and come back.

We told our families about the Texas plan and they re-acted exactly like I thought they would. CS's mom didn't tell him not to go, but she made a lot of comments about how Jacob wouldn't have any Grandma time, and what would he do! And my mom said nothing about how she wold miss us. It's just one of the ways our families are wildly different. His family has a harder time with them being gone. My mom has never made an issue about me leaving. I know we both think about each other and wish we could be in the same place but know it's not practical for the two of us. That's how is should be, a parent shouldn't make their child feel guilty for doing what's best for them. That's the whole point of raising your children right, that they become capable adults who do what needs to be done. I will never discourage Jacob to stay close to home because I want him close. I want him to go off to college, as long as we can afford it, and see other parts of the country. I guess what I'm most worried about is that his parents will convince him to stay by dropping small comments about how far away we will be, how they'll miss us, how Jacob needs grandparents and family, etc. I don't think CS and I have reached the point where our family is above his family. Maybe I'm wrong. Just another thing to work on.

Day Two

Jacob and I went to CS's families house for Thanksgiving today. CS couldn't be there because he is heading to Ohio today, which is sad because you always want to spend a holiday with your significant other if you're going to their house. It's not awkward, but it's not the same when you don't have that anchor. I suppose you could call Jacob the anchor now, but I regard him as mine so that doesn't work. (You think that's mean to regard him as mine? I don't. I feed him, change him, dress him, comfort him, play with him, generally devote my entire self to him. He is mine. CS is a guest appearance right now, especially with work taking him away.) His family has a tradition of writing out five things that they are thankful for this year and one of his dad's was me. Which is so sweet and somewhat undeserved. I enjoy his family though. Just wish I wasn't doing this alone.

Despite two Thanksgiving dinners, I am still not ready to quit eating. Tomorrow I'm going to have breakfast with my oldest friend and later meet up with old family friends to show off the baby. I'm quite sure food will be involved at all events. Fortunately, I'm breastfeeding and this means I can eat like a horse and still be hungry. It's mostly in the evening that I discover my appetite is enormous and I can probably eat as much as CS. Maybe my body is lacking in nutrition at the end of the day, or I'm not giving it enough to eat during the day. All I know is that I can eat a plateful of food and still go back for more. Hopefully this tapers off when I'm not longer feeding two bodies. I'd like to get thighs that don't rub together and a stomach that's flat and fits into my old jeans without a muffin top. Nothing screams sexy mom like a muffin top. EWWW.

No Show

My realtor called me last week and wanted to know if they could bring someone by to see the house. They think they want to live here and if they do, we get to move out on the 1st of October and still keep our deposit. So I agreed. Despite the fact that I am 39 weeks and I have my brother and his wife living here and my house isn't in tip-top shape. I wore myself out last night getting everything in order, or at least the appearance of order. I told my brother to stay away until after 5:30. And I got home by 5:15.

My realtor never showed up, but the woman and her kids who want to live here did. I showed them the house, but I'm not sure if they are going to want it. I think it might be too small for her liking. Hopefully she does. Then I can get out of my lease and figure out a new mode of operation. This involves picking between staying in Globe and moving away to a new place. On the list is Denver and Austin, so that's kind of rough. Sucks to pick between so many places I enjoy. Woe is me.

At Least This Means I Get To Sleep More

"I've got good news and bad news," CS told me on Thursday afternoon when he was headed home for the day. "Pick one."

I opted for the good news first but he wouldn't tell me because it spoiled the bad news. Good news: "I won't need any gas money for next week." So what's the bad news?

"They are sending me to Lake Havasu for all next week."

WHAT! Why? Why? His company couldn't get any of the jobs they have lined up for the next few weeks to start this week. So they are sending him a few hours away to work. It was either that or not work at all. And that's not an option. It's fine, really, that he goes away this week. It does mean he can't come to the Dr. with me, nor can we go to the hospital and register together after my appointment. He's driving down to the shop tonight and taking a company truck to the job site. He'll be back on Thursday afternoon. He's already told them that he absolutely cannot go farther than Phoenix area in the next two weeks. Not with my due date looming at two weeks when he gets back. Hopefully, they will have figured something out with their new job sites.

It's too bad that we didn't decide to live down in Mesa area when the trailer idea didn't pan out. We could have saved ourselves a lot of money in rent and gas had we known that CS's work life would change so drastically. As it is, we'll probably more out of this house at the end of September. Find a small two bedroom somewhere in town. I don't foresee CS driving to Mesa everyday for long. Or we will be moving to a new state in October. I don't really know what the plan will be, I just know we have options once we aren't tied down to this location because of our lease and the baby being born.

On the bright side, if we move I need to get furniture and dishes. Which means IKEA!

Splitting The Worlds

Last night, CS and I went out to the lake to meet my brother along with some people he used to work with. This included the two adults I'm most disgusted by in recent events. When CS left his company, it seemed that the men he worked with, men he considered to be his good friends, turned their backs on him. He would call and never get a call back. Meanwhile, my brother would come home with stories about how one man in particular was spouting off assvice about how my brother needed to "get out on his own" and telling him about apartments opening up down the street from them. It made me absolutely furious. This is a family that asked my brother to pay them $800 a month to stay at their house for months. Never once did they offer to find him a place in NM while he was there, waiting for the job to end. Never mind how many times they have had to borrow money to make a payment on time, or had their cells shut off because they didn't pay for months. Talk about responsible.

Last night was the first night we all got together since New Mexico. And I only went along because I brought my own friends. Which may have been awkward for them because our groups didn't mingle much. But it was dark and late and we weren't there for fishing. I sat on my friend's tailgate with my friends, and CS went back and forth between the two groups.

I've never been dependent on CS's work friends to make my life in new places comfortable. I've found my own friends. I don't want to move from place to place without getting to know someone new. I suppose to be honest, I'm not particularly fond of the people he works with. They are fine acquaintances but no one has come close to being a friend to me. This does not frustrate me; I'd prefer it. But it does make it awkward when my world and CS's world collide.

Changes Abound

Dear Everyone,

I'm moving to Arizona! I think. So far, that's the plan.

Wednesday we found out for sure that we are headed to Globe, AZ for a new six to eight month job. (Way to go, Jess. Be in the hottest state for the end of your pregnancy.) They are building a copper mill, and the job is about an hour from the suburbs of Phoenix. The town itself is itty bitty- 6,000 population and NO PLACE TO LIVE. Sounds familiar. There is still a chance we can get the trailer if they approve the loan and that will make things super easy. I just don't want to compromise in getting a rental again because there is no way I want to bring a baby back to a place like this. We might have to move to a different town and CS will have a commute which we both hate the idea of.

Unfortunately, CS and I won't even be getting into town early to find a place because I found a GREAT deal on tickets to Seattle. $300 for two nonstop, roundtrip tickets? Oh hell yes. We're going to visit some friends of CS and hopefully we do a lot of looking around Seattle and less drinking of beer in the house. I'm sorry, I do not visit places to curl up on other people's couches unless it is Thanksgiving break and cold outside. Plus, Seattle has a beach with the ocean and that's enough to keep me occupied for a good six hours. I don't even care that it's not a warm beach. I just like the crashing sounds of the water. Until I start finding dead seal bodies, that's a little unpleasant.

Until last night, we were pretty sure that AZ was the plan, Seattle was going to happen, and Globe was certainly going to be better than Hobbs. But then we found out that there is no where to live without a eight month waiting list. Then we found out that the job site itself is a mess and they are sending three guys this weekend to straighten things out. There is the possibility that we might have to cancel Seattle and be there by the 5th of March. There is also a chance that the entire project might be called off and the crew is sent to Utah because the man in charge is new at his position and has no idea what he's doing.

That's what I found out last night. Isn't that fun? I never really know where I'm going or what's going to happen because it's constantly changing even when we think it's all been set in motion.