Oy!

So I pulled out a few pairs of pants when we were packing up the truck. I only had one pair of jeans in the house that I would wear for an entire day and it was getting old. So I grabbed three pairs of pants that were casual and were a bit loose on me before I entered Pregoland. I've been into a few of my looser clothes since having Jacob and most a just a little tight at this point.

But when I pulled on these packed away pants? Oh, has my body changed. I don't weight more but there is more of me. Pants don't fit right now when they used to be baggy in the tummy and thighs and booty. I know I can blame part of this on the fact that I eat whatever I want, all day long, and I hardly work out because it is either cold or windy. On the days it's been nice, I try to go for a walk but I don't always think about it. I know I need to put effort into returning to a body I don't avoid in the mirror. Actually, I don't even see myself in the mirror because the bathroom only has small mirrors and I never go check my outfit in the big mirror at the back of the house because who cares? CS isn't here, Jacob doesn't care, and I hardly go anywhere. Plus, if I can't see it, then it's not really a muffin top. Right?

Vanishing The Belly Roll

It's an amazing day out right now. At ten AM, we went for a walk and we didn't even need coats. Or long sleeve shirts. It wasn't windy so I didn't have to worry about smothering the baby when we walked toward the East. The dogs still behaved like dogs, but it was so nice to go out and get some exercise and sunshine. This has been a relatively mild winter, and I know that all of you in the East want to choke me a little bit right now. You have loads of snow right now, and I'm sitting in a sports bar and capri pants. Of course, you don't have to worry about fire danger and drought like we do. We're supposed to have record highs today so maybe I can work on losing the flabbiness before we go to Mississippi on Sunday. Although I'm still not getting into a swimsuit. The only suit I have is from two years ago when I was at my smallest and it hasn't fit since a month after I bought it.

I should really go eat lunch while Jacob is on his two hour nap that was divided by a small wake up where he wanted to cuddle and suck on his pacifier. I somehow snuck into the shower and got clean and shaved. I rarely attempt shaving because it usually means I get out of the shower to comfort a baby who has fallen over on the bed and can't get up.

Sweetness

I am currently eating an ice cream cone. I also had cake today. However, I'm getting frustrated with this post partum body I've got going on. I'm only about five pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight and if I could work out everyday, I'd lose that in a snap. But it's the flabby, stretched out belly skin that I can't get over. Now that winter is coming, I'm losing my chances of getting out of the house to work out and I haven't worked out while Jacob sleeps yet because I am lazy. And my yoga DVD is packed away. (Except I know where it is, but I have to go to the shed and move boxes to get it, and ugh.) I shouldn't complain, especially when I read about women who struggle with getting their bodies back and how long it takes...but I'm ready to look cute again. Or be able to wear jeans without feeling a gross muffin top puffing out of my jeans when I sit down to nurse.

So I really should be giving up the brown butter cake and ice cream cones. But then again, it's my only vice. It's not like I have greasy hamburgers and french fries on a weekly basis. Although, it does sound awfully good right about now.

Click, Lock, Drop

I lost my keys this morning.

Funny thing about that?

Losing my keys has been the "worst thing that could happen to me" since I've moved down here. Mostly because there is no way I can break into my house if I lock the dead bolt. No entry through windows like at my house at home. Hell, these windows don't open in the slightest (fire hazard?). Also, I have no spare key to my car here. I lose that and I have no vehicle.

So I was a tad bit worried this morning at the gym when I discovered that I didn't leave them in the front seat like I thought I had when I couldn't find them in my pocket on my walk. They weren't on the street. They weren't inside the gym. Just vanished. Usually, when Hunt and I start a walk, he gets all excited and holds the leash in his mouth and bounces all around me, and I get into it with him and we hop down the street for a bit before settling into a nice pace. I thought maybe my keys got jounced out during all the hopping, but they weren't on the street. One nice man from aerobics class offered to help me look, and we took off jogging down the street to an empty field I walk through to let Hunter do his business. As we are searching in the weeds, a couple walks past and they are holding my keys hostage. Turns out they found them on the ground by the gym, realized they belonged to me, and continued on their walk in hopes that they would pass me to return them. Hurrah! Then nice aerobic man and I jogged back to the gym. So this morning, I had 45 minutes of "Weight Lifting to Music" followed by a (bouncy) 1 mile walk, then a 1 mile jog. I feel bad for Hunter , mostly, because he stayed in the car while I went to look the the keys and he missed out on the jogging.

Also, the car alarm was blaring because it doesn't like it when you unlock the doors from the outside.

I'm Gonna Post Every Day For A Whole Month

Somehow, I don't see this happening. I barely get through reading my blogs everyday. It's not like I have a lot of free time during the day to play online to my heart's content. Not like before. Before, when I only had to read to kids who wanted to listen to me. Before, when I was never in control of a group of teens. Before, when my job wasn't to grade crafts or how many books a person read.

Being a teacher may pay more, but it comes with a little more responsibility than being a librarian required. Maybe I'd like to go back to that kind of job. One with no yelling. Or threats. Although, threats can be fun. I may follow through on my threats of today and write up some lunch D-halls tomorrow for some chatty basketball players. They won't like that too much. Or I'll just tell them that Coach gave me permission to threaten them with playing time if they won't shut their mouths.

Back to NaBloPoMo...I had a great idea for a blog the other day and I have since forgotten it. It was something that I could stretch out over the whole month. But I can't remember. Of course.

I have been baking up muffins in the past week. Some Carrot Zucchini Nut muffins with Cream Cheese frosting last Wednesday. Pumpkin Pecan with Cream Cheese (I had a whole bowl of frosting left over) and tonight I am going to make Popcorn cake for the Teacher's Lounge Halloween. I'm also going to bring the Pumpkin Muffins because I cannot and will not and should not eat a whole pan of muffins. I'd like to fit into my new clothes for a while. Or if I don't fit, I'd prefer them to be a little looser. Not tighter.

My Smackdown plan for losing 10 pounds is not going so well. I joined the gym. Although, I've been going less frequently than I planned. I still work out for an hour everyday, it's just not always at the gym. I hate this because I've been trying so hard since August to fix this. To get back to my "normal" size. And I will hate if this is "normal". I don't want to have to skip meals in order to be a size 8. I don't eat fast food. I don't fry a lot of food. I cut back on portion sizes because I can't eat like a boy. I cut back on red meat. I don't drink beer. I started going to aerobics class at 5 AM a few times a week. And what else do I need to do? Stop and check everything I put in my mouth? Eat and drink only diet food? What am I doing wrong! Yes, in the past, before I made dinner every night, I didn't always eat a real dinner. How do I get away with that now? It's impossible! So am I destined to be like this for the rest of my life? Also, don't get me started on how my forehead thinks I'm in puberty again and that Philosophy Hope In A Jar isn't enough!

Internet, Let's Make Out!

No that I no longer get to play online for hours upon hours a day, I am relishing in my time spend online. I've found a slew of new websites to read, mostly cooking blogs, and I'm just loving it. I wish I could link to some things I've found recently, but Safari doesn't allow me to create linked sites. Why? Because it's L-A-M-E! Honestly, I don't understand that. I've had my Mac for three years now, had numerous Safari downloads, and still it's lacking. Are there other Mac compatible browsers that have everything I need?

I'm at the point where I want to have a real masthead, have a design for my blog. If I'm going to post frequently, then why not make it look good! Plus, I just signed up for NaBloPoMo! I'll be posting everyday in November. Won't you join me?

I'm in love with www.vogues.com. They have amazing chocolate products, and I'm desperate to try what they make. Chili powder and wasabi in chocolate? Sign me up! This weekend, I made pumpkin cheesecake brownies from Coconut and Lime. Tonight I made stuffed red peppers from Smitten Kitchen. I ordered two birthday presents off of Etsy this past month.

Annnd, I just remembered that i had a lot of grading to do tonight for my "Night" test on Friday and I did none of it. Plus, it's bedtime for this girl. This girl who now wakes up at 5 AM to go listen to aerobics music and hop around on a step like a tone deaf drunk in a bar.

My Bangin' Suit

Me: Jayden, what are you wearing?
Jayden: My bangin' suit.
Me: And did you put sunscreen on?
Jayden: Yeah, I put sunscream on.

She would also like a Princess Shooting Gun. Thank goodness her birthday is eleven months away! I don't know if we could find a shooting gun in a Disney princess theme. I should google that.

Speaking of banging suits, I'm having issues with my body. Last night at Wal-Mart, I weighed myself on a scale in the bathroom aisle. And it read: 140. Where I yelled "Ew" and pulled another one off the shelf. 140. I am not happy with this weight. In my body's defense, I did spend about two months with limited exercise and a very bad diet. Only in the past two weeks have I settled into a routine that involves walking 2.5 miles a day and healthy eating. And this is also the "rebound" weight from having my tonsils out. I didn't want to stay at the 120 I was three weeks post surgery, but I didn't want to put on 15 pounds. Although, I did weigh myself at night, rather than in the morning, so I bet at least 5 pounds could be taken off for that. Right?

In any case, my bangin' suit needs some hard work out time. And a yoga DVD.