Life After...

This morning, I scanned Netflix on the XBox and I found an old Looney Tunes movie and put it on for Jacob. After Jacob saw the part with the Roadrunner and Wiley E. Coyote, he started running around the house, saying "beep beep...pshhhew!"

Having a kid is awesome.

This evening, he threw himself to the ground in a fit over not wanting to hold my hand in the middle of the street as we left Noodles & Co.

Having a bratty toddler with an independent streak 4 million miles long, not so awesome.

Well, I Almost Failed

I was about 15 seconds from putting the computer to sleep and getting into bed. I almost ruined my NaBloPoMo posting for the month on the last day! That would be a shame.

Not that I really have anything to share. CS got paid today but they want him to hold his check until tomorrow because they claim that the hundreds of dollars from investors are being wired in this week. coughbullshitcough. So I paid bills tonight and I will go deposit that check tomorrow. Because we need the money and Yo, that holding checks shit is ILLEGAL. Luckily, the paycheck is a "full" paycheck instead of half but it's only full because it's for 20 hours less than usual.

Jacob went from 1 Pm to 9 PM without any nursing at all. He ate a full string cheese, some noodles, a few bites of pear and banana in between those times. I am proud of him! We're getting somewhere with the eating solids. However, he nursed at least four times before noon so that kind of cancels the evening out.

Baby's awake! Drat.

Hello Internet!

I've missed you. It's been, like 36 hours but who's counting?

Last night, after CS and I had dinner, a mish-mash of leftovers with at least one thing cooked to complete the leftover part, I went downstairs to turn on my laptop and get to my general assing around on the Internet.

And the wireless was BROKEN.

So I made CS go look to see why it was broken and it turns out that his mom painted her office yesterday and had everything turned off and the desk pulled away from the wall. CS told me he couldn't fix it because it couldn't reach or something? I don't know, I don't understand. All I knew was that he was telling me it couldn't work and my brain cannot compute that.

CS: I can't plug it in.
Me: Just move the desk over and plug it in?
CS: Can't.

Me: Can you get an extension cord?
CS: No.
Me: Why not?

Repeat. I tried to nag him into doing it but apparently my charms don't work on him anymore. Obviously, the sex appeal is gone.

So I called my mom and made her post a photo and maybe something from her but blogging isn't really her thing and she kept asking me what to say so I gave up. Anyone else want to guest blog for me?

Day 18

I've hit a wall in thinking of mindless drivel to post here. I blame it on my day, which was uneventful but pleasant. Oh, the baby learned to say "here kitty kitty!" It's more like "he ki ki" but we'll take it. The boy loves kitties. Won't touch them but really likes to follow them around.

Dinner tonight was awkward. No one talked and I have a sneaking suspicion it's because this parents know that CS slept in bed with me for a WHOLE HOUR last night. Until the baby woke up and there was no room for him. Or he had to go switch his laundry, something like that. It was a nice hour though. It's pretty sad when two people who have a baby together can't remember the last time they went to bed together, as a couple. Seriously, we cannot remember. And we don't get to blame it on a job or living in different zip codes. We blame it on God fearing Christians who think we're going to hell because we had sex outside of marriage. Luckily, I do not adhere to that kind of thinking or I imagine life would be pretty hard to live. Since I can never reach perfection, no matter how hard I try. It's NOT POSSIBLE. I am a dirty sinner. But since I believe in Jesus and I strive (and fail!) to be more like his example, I don't go to hell. I may have a little 'splaining to do when I get up to Heaven. And I know our life is not "God's Best" but we're trying. I'm not perfect and I know I can't be but I don't live my life fearing that every little sin I have is going to cast me down. I don't think that's my fate. But I'm saddened that CS's parents must live this way and I can't imagine growing up with the fear of hell and damnation always in the background. My dad could get a little freaky with the End Times and Rapture but I just learned to blow him off. We have a life to live and a purpose to serve. So I'll do my best and pray for forgiveness.

On the other hand, what if his parents found my blog! That should open a whole post up for me about censorship and why I FAIL at that and how I have no plans to change that. You come by this blog from Googling my name? Then it's no different from peaking at a diary or checking up on someone. Don't pry unless you can handle the consequences. I've learned this the hard way, believe you me.

I guess I did have something to say after all. I should probably stick to talking about what Jacob can say and how many times he farted before he went to sleep (4).

But in any case, it was really nice to fall asleep with CS next to me.

Party!

My party was on the small side. Three people small. Technically, four but the last one came over just before we packed it all away. So now I have to get at least six people to order before I get any of the Hostess benefits. Soooo anyone want to order some pretty, sparkly jewelry? It's very nice and well made, and has a lifetime warrenty! Even if you break it five years from now! Personally, as a mother to a small monster, this last bit is quite important to me. If you do want to see some of the bling, please go here: Silpada and then let me know if you see something you like!

I personally want this, this, and this. I've only just begun to wear jewelry again since Jacob was born. I never went anywhere when he was little and wearing earrings was just dangerous when he couldn't understand "nice touches." But now that I am trying to dress a little more like I did before a baby and nursing took over my life. Which means I can wear nice shirts and pretty necklaces and dangly earrings without worrying that it's going to be spit up on, broken, or pulled from my earlobes.

I hope someone out there can take a look and help me fill my remaining six orders. Don't let all my pizza making, brownie baking, and wine buying go to waste! And if you feel cheated by getting jewelry and not getting the delicious food? I will sent you some brownies. Extra chocolaty, gooey brownies.

Baby's First Cuss Word

"Oh shit!"

I did not teach him this. Do not look at me. No, stop raising your eyebrow. And grinning. IS NOT MY FAULT.

Really, do you think this face could be capable of saying such things?



Other gross and/or naughty things he's done since turning 14 months? Farting multiple times while nursing and pausing each time to giggle, with the nipple still in his mouth. Poking my in my lady parts with his index finger when I got out of the shower and giggling like a manic when I shrieked and batted his hand away. In hindsight, that might have egged him on because he likes to hear me freak out. This evening, we had a battle of the wills over whether or not Jacob was allowed to pull my shirt down and coo adoringly to my boobs before reaching down and pitching a nipple. That battle ended in tears. Luckily for my boobs, his tears and not mine. Boy has got a grip!

Boys are gross. But I forgave him when he spent the rest of the evening on my lap, watching Youtube videos of Sesame Street and the parts of Glee with singing.

Hunter And Jacob

Staying at my mom's the past few days, we've been enjoying ample dog time. During the day, Hunter mostly stays outside so even though we're here daily, he doesn't get to spend much time with us. Mostly by his choosing as he thinks it's better to be outside here. Unlike when we have our own place, where he would like to be with me every single minute. This causes issues because he's bad dog here at my mom's. He digs holes and worms his body into the pig pen to eat their food. Hunter doesn't actually play with Jacob, unless Jacob is eating. Then Hunter is at least three feet away, waiting patiently for Jacob to be done, drool hanging from his mouth, anticipating being able to scope the floor once I get Jacob out of his chair. Jacob learned the other day that he can drop food into Hunter's mouth and we had to stop that nonsense RIGHT AWAY. The kid doesn't eat enough as it is, I don't need another reason for him to not eat the food I make. Although, somehow Jacob got a hold of the cup of chicken noodle soup I was going to feed him, and while my back was turned he dumped the contents onto the floor after taking a few noodles for himself. Hunter was more than willing to clean it up. And the only reason I know they did this? I found the empty container on the still damp floor.

I miss having Hunter around. Jacob loves to hang on Emma, much more than Hunter, but he's been known to play with Hunter the same way. Like tonight, when Jacob had a late nap and would normally be very crabby, he's happy playing in between the dogs as they lay on the floor in front of me, begging for snacks. Jacob can be rough with them, as he likes to poke their eyes, pull their ears, shove his finger into their nostrils. His favorite thing to do it run up to them and quickly pound his hands onto their backs as they try to sleep. Fortunately, we have very good dogs and the most they do is get up and move away. They must not be smart enough to move into a different room, one with no lights on. But I am thankful for my dog babysitters. Sheesh, it's the only way I'm going to get to post anything at all tonight. So it might as well be a big thank you to Hunter and Emma for putting up with the Squawly Thing.

They have come a long way from this:




This was in Alabama and it's blurry but it's still a photo of the two of them!

Don't Shoot!

Ok, I know I promised pictures but I have no camera. Since I'm staying at my mom's, I left my fancy camera under Jacob's crib. I figured I could just use her camera while I was here if I wanted to prove that I really have been crafty. Except the woman who can hardly take a photo at any function to save her life? Took her camera. I have my cell phone but that's not really the best way to document.

So instead I have a pizza recipe! It's an adaption of Jim Lahay's pizza bianca and Smitten Kitchen's pizza with peppers.

For the dough:

3 cups flour
1 tsp. yeast
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. sugar
1 1/2 cups water

Combine the dry then add the water and mix with a wooden spoon. Once the dough has incorporated most of the flour, shape in to a ball and place in a bowl oiled with olive oil. Cover and let rise for three hours.

Once the dough has risen, take it out of the bowl and place onto a well floured counter and let sit while you get the toppings ready.

For the topping:
four strips of bacon, diced and fried
1/2 onion thinly sliced and caramelized in the bacon fat
1 bell pepper, thinly sliced
1 tomato, thinly sliced
8 oz. Mozzarella, shredded
1 clove garlic, smashed and chopped
1 cup tomato sauce
1/2 tsp basil
1/2 oregano

Preheat oven to 500 degrees. Place pizza stone in oven.

Combine the tomato sauce and the spices together in a small pot and let them simmer. Once your toppings are cooked and sliced, you can roll out the pizza dough. Split the ball in half and roll out one half. I had to use plenty of flour to keep it from sticking to the counter. I don't have a pizza peel so I use a metal pizza sheet and cover it with flour and cornmeal to keep the rolled out dough from sticking too much. Once it's rolled out and on the tray, assemble the toppings. Make sure the pizza can move around on the tray before you quickly slide it onto the hot baking stone. Bake for 15-20 minutes until edges are golden and cheese is starting to brown.

Slide off the pizza stone and let cool a few minutes before slicing. Enjoy!

So I Need a Job

I do need a job. I don't want one, but we are at the point where I need one. Desperately. Even if it's so I can put gas in my car and buy Jacob diapers. I don't mind working if I can do it without putting the baby in daycare, because I don't have money for daycare and I really like my baby and I want to be with him all the time. So I'm sort of limited in my options here. Then, this morning I get a voicemail from a woman who works in the WIC office in Mobile, AL. She wants to know if I would like a paid position as a lactation consultant for other WIC mom's. It's only 10 hours a week at $7.25 but that's a PERFECT job for me.

Except I don't live in Alabama anymore. So I can't work for them.

I'm bummed. It would be so perfect for me, because I think breastfeeding is GREAT and I want everyone to try it but I know it's hard at first. It's so hard and I almost gave up at 8 weeks because I couldn't even shower without feeling like screaming. My nipples were so sensitive that the water mist created by droplets hitting my body hurt when I showered. I remember thinking that they would hurt forever and that I could never shower without pain from water out of the showerhead. I had horrible back pain, even throwing out my back once. That was so hard because I couldn't look down, I couldn't stand up or lean back into the couch. I couldn't even pick up Jacob for a day. Luckily, I could go to a chiropractor and I think he helped but my back continued to hurt until Jacob was three months old. So I know how hard it is to keep nursing. But now? I am so glad I stuck with it. Not only did we save a fortune by not buying formula, but Jacob didn't get his first cold until he was 13 months old.

That job would be perfect for me. Not only is it about something I am passionate about, but I can do it without putting Jacob in daycare. He'd just go with me. So I think I will be going to my local WIC office here and asking if they need a paid lactation consultant. Or I'm going to sell Pampered Chef.

Crafty Cat

I finished my wrist warmers. Just in time for the weather to warm up a little bit and be back in capri pants and flip flops. I'm really not complaining, as this is why I love Colorado. We have weather like this a lot, until we get to January and it snows every weekend. But this weather is acceptable. We can spend an hour outside in the afternoon and actually get too warm for jackets. Jacob also insists on putting sticks and small piece of wood into the dog's water tub and I worry that his hands will freeze into icicles when it's cold out. I still let him do it, but I worry. I suppose I will have to start stuffing his hands into mittens before long and that's going to go over great. And no, I will not be knitting him mittens. Size 7 needles are pretty small and I'd need at least a size 3 to knit something like that. Socks are another thing that will not be on my "knit this next" list for some time. Partially because of the small needles and partially because I'm sure I will like it and I've got enough yarn in my box right now.

I can't decide what to knit next. I was going to knit a hat for a child who has cancer in October, so I guess I should still do that. Just because October is over does not mean that children with cancer stop needing soft hats for their bald heads. The only problem is that I have mostly wool in my stash and no one wants to wear wool on their head, much less a bald head. I have some soft pale green and a cream white skeins but that's not really bright and fun for kids.

I'm also tempted to knit a felted bowl and give it away as a prize to someone doing NaBloPoMo. I've never done something like that, but the bowls are not cheap on Etsy and are so simple to make. I was thinking this morning that I should try to make an Etsy shop and sell some of the things I knit but that might make it less fun. Also, seeing as it took me over three weeks to make wrist warmers, I might not be able to keep up with supple and demand. Even if I only had three buyers a month.

NaBloPoMo Strikes Back

I can't be dedicated enough throughout the year to blog more than sporadically but I can really get behind a cause with prizes and other people in the same boat of "what do I spew out today?" I even had a moment of pure insanity when I thought that I might try to post about something lovely that I've made but then I remembered my 14 month old son and got off my high horse. Sure, I have some luscious wristwarmers sitting beside me but they aren't finished and I doubt I will finish tonight. Maybe tomorrow but don't count on it. I was supposed to knit a hat for a child with cancer this month and I couldn't get that done in time. So instead, I will present some Halloween photos. I don't have any great ones, but he's still pretty cute. I dressed as a witch in a stolen costume that's been tucked in my closet at home for years. I tried to wear ruby slippers but I shouldn't return to heels with Jessica Simpson stilettos that are probably a half size too big. (I lasted an hour and a half, if you're interested.)

We tried to take him to the Trunk or Treat candy fest in town but we had to wait in line for a whole block until we got to the area blocked off for trick or treating. Then we had to stay in line and walk up and down the block to get candy. Jacob lasted for half a block into trick or treating and after that he was running off to the sidewalk and down into alleys. I could have stood in line for candy but I felt stupid doing that because while I clearly intend to eat his candy, I couldn't bring myself to get candy without him right next to me. So we gave up on that milestone. We took him to the library instead to see Gramma Gramma dressed like a kitty. After we had a delicious snack at the Owl (burgers and fries, not shakes as we only had $10) we went to Florence for a 2nd round of trick or treating. Theirs involved going from store to store so it wouldn't be as much waiting in line. This time I remembered that i have this thing called a stroller so we don't have to carry His Highness of Putting Grubby Hands Down My Shirt To Feel His Boobies. It was fun but the quality of candy handed out was CRAP so mostly I'm just exhausted with a lot of DumDum suckers to show for it.

Temple. Peanut, Pimp!

When I started reading the Advice Smackdown by Amalah, I started using Philosophy soon after. I got the Purity wash and the Hope in a Jar to start and noticed a great difference in my face after that. Then I got pregnant and my pretty skin decided to rebel for ten months and then some. For the last few months of my pregnancy, my chin was a constant battle of oozing pimples and sore bumps. I continued to use Philosophy but nothing helped. No matter how long I kept the wash on my face or stood there with hot washcloths pressed to the trouble spots, nothing was helping. I hated it. Not just because it was ugly, but because it hurt! And I couldn't do anything about it because it was completely hormonal. Only now, that my hormones are starting to recede is my face clearing up. But so slowly. Now, instead of huge whiteheaded pimples, I have pimples that turn into blood blisters deep in my skin, leaving dark purple bruise-like spots on my face. It goes really well with the look I'm trying to cultivate. You know, the teenage mom with an unplanned baby. So a little teenage acne goes well with the rest of the picture.

NaBloPoMo is over and I'm glad I did it this year. It gave me a little something to do, generally right before bed but I could have used my time a little more wisely. Or just posted more pictures!

Thankful

For my little boy, who is showing me everyday that little boys make great children.

For CS, who is going away this week because he has to support us.

For Hunter, even though he stinks like bad things right now, he's been a good dog with this whole "squally thing" we're thrown at him.

For my mom, who has gone above and beyond for us right now.

For JBelle, for trying to nurse her baby doll in the car the other afternoon and letting Jacob use her Scooby blanket.

For my good friends, who send puffy vests for Jacob or drop everything to come be there for me.

And for a great day filled with turkey, pumpkin pie with real whipped cream, Battleship, sweet potatoes, Yahtzee, and naps as a family.

Time Line

Age Three- Playing in my parent's waterbed. The bed is high and there is a mirror in the headboard. There are rainbow sheets.

Age Four-I go to preschool and make crayons by putting broken pieces of old crayon into muffin tins. They take pictures of us and I'm wearing a teal sweater with a bear on it.

Age Four- I go down into the craw space to get scuba diving gear out because my mom is pregnant with my brother and too big to go down.

Age Five- I sneak out of bed and sit on the stairs where the ceiling meets the steps and sneak peeks down into the living room. My brother is born that night.

Age Six- I am mad at my mom. I stand in from of my little brother's crib and bang a Grover puppet onto the rails, yelling "I'm tired of you." My brother shrieks with laughter and falls over.

Age Seven- My sister is born in our living room. The midwives are late. My dad and my mom's friend deliver her, and I am the one who rushes to my parents bedroom to get the package of supplies. My dad struggles to open the nose bulb.

Age Eight- My mom, my sister, and I go to Colorado Springs to take care of the fish tanks my parent's maintain. My dad is sick. Later, when we are home, we play a game where we stick our tongues out and touch them to each other. This is the last day of my sister's life.

Age Nine- My grandpa buys me sheep so I can be in 4-H. At the fair, I wear teal green jeans and a purple and teal button down shirt. The sheep are bigger than I am.

Age Ten- My brothers and I sleep outside, on a futon on the front porch. We think we're so brave.

Sunday Evening Before Bed

10:38- Put sleeping baby in bed.

10:40- Find soap for boyfriend who is complaining about having no soap yet refuses to look in toiletries bag where soap was put during the move.

10:42- Put clothes away from laundry finished two days ago.

10:45- Fix sheets on bed because boyfriend is a messy sleeper and the fitted sheet is coming off the mattress.

10:48- Clean up living room because mother is a neat freak and it's messy. Throw about 4 burp rags into laundry basket.

10:49- See computer open because I must blog today for NaBloPoMo. Maybe I will prize?

10:55- Still have to make lunch for boyfriend and get self ready for bed. Self wants to read book in bed, but should probably go to sleep. Will read though, because self is enthralled with a trilogy. Again.

An Indian Summer

Which will probably mean a Nasty Winter. It's about 75 to 80 degrees here today. Shorts and teeshirt weather. Not that this is unheard of in Colorado. You live here long enough and nothing surprises you in this state. Snow in May? Sure. Seventy degrees in December? Why not! You even get used to the flip flopping of seasons, only putting away some of you summer clothes and leaving a coat in your closet after spring. I liked Arizona in the early spring, but nothing beats Colorado for fall.

When we decided to move back to CO, I was excited for the prospect of fall. Wearing jeans and my long sleeve clothes while drinking warm cups of tea with a snuggly baby in my arms. The leaves changing colors, first snow, and peaks covered with the white stuff. I miss the mellow winters of my youth when snow didn't fall every weekend like is has in the past few years. For years, we never had white Christmases. I vividly remember a Christmas where I got a pajama set from my grandma. It was shorts and a teeshirt. We also got a set of a walky-talkies. There are pictures of us playing outside with our new toys, and I'm wearing my new pajamas. Summer PJ's for a winter holiday.

The only bad thing about coming back here is that my mom bought Jacob all sorts of cute summer clothes. Which he is A)rapidly outgrowing and B)will soon be too cold to wear. And he looks so flipping cute in those one piece snap up suits.

Time On My Hands

I've decided to do NaBloPoMo this year. I think I tried last year but failed, and since I have a few hours a day with nada to do while little boy sleeps, I thought I could try again. For some reason, I mistakenly think that if I can push myself to blog daily for a whole month, then maybe I can work on that "writing" I was so good at in college. It's probably something I need to come to terms with. Maybe I'm not cut out for writing fame. Yes, I loved it. I was good at it too. But I'm not motivated anymore. I don't aspire to go get my MFA and write for my keep. Nowadays, I want to go back to school to get my certificate and teach. If my college self could see me now, I'd probably smack me. Since I want to teach, I never write, and I have a baby. WTF, Jess? I am completely different than what I aspired to be. I'm ok with that. How could I not be satisfied with this life?

Good education with great memories? Check
Boyfriend who loves me despite my neurosis? Check
Baby boy who loves his mama? Check
Jealous whore dog who needs more attention? Check.

And now I have to go nurse.

Waves

I'm currently awash in a mix of emotions. Happy/sad.

I cannot believe how fast the past 6 months have gone by. How I went from a somewhat drunken mess in Colorful Colorado to a very happy substitute teacher in the middle of pos New Mexico. And the realization that there is a very good chance we are leaving here in about 4 weeks releases a lot of emotions I just don't want to deal with.

Sure, it's cool I get to go someplace new. Leave behind this ugly landscape and go to Farmington, or Wyoming, Kansas. Who knows, right now. We want to get a tag along trailer to live in, instead of finding cheap apartment after a hotel room for a week. I found a cockroach in my kitchen the other day and when I called to get someone to come spray, my rental people told me that they do it the first time and it's my responsibility for the rest. Which, BULL. I want to see the receipt for that spraying, as I think it's a huge lie. They are scummy landlords who deal with trashy people that don't take care of their space. And I am ok with not having them to deal with that nonsense anymore.

But, oh. I am going to miss my life here. No, it's not pretty here. I don't get to go out to the bar and know everyone and know that they know me. I don't get to have wine soaked dinner parties with people my own age. There are no Sunday Brunches, post drinking. I know virtually no one here. I go to work, I come home. But I love my job. I love the people I work with, the teachers who make me feel so welcome. The students who come and talk to me about their lives when all the work is finished and we're waiting for the bell. My aerobics class with my silly, D.A.R.E. cop instructor and the two women I share a Full Throttle Bench with on Tuesday/Thursday.

Finally, I can feel at home here. And it's almost time to leave.

I'm scared because I'm finally happy. But I know I won't be happy here without CS. I can't handle going to work and coming home to an empty house in a town where I only have a job. Nothing else.

So, I follow. You go.

Fizzled.

I'm not quite sure what kept me from posting every day of NaBloPoMo. It's not like I have a whole lot to juggle. Between Hunter and CS, I don't quite have a busy schedule. I think I could blame it on my lack of internet access during the day. Sure, I have the Web but I don't get to play on it more than 45 minutes a day. When I get home, I usually walk Hunt before CS gets home. Then it's time to make dinner, eat dinner, clean up. There are shows to watch, conversations to have. I'm lucky if I get all my blogs read in time for bed. Which, sadly, is currently around 9. I went to bed the other night at 8. Babies stay up later than I do.

Tomorrow my brother will be driving into town to stay work with CS's company. He lost his job last week, and CS was able to get him hired on as a welder or whatever else they might need. I'm not too clear on the details. I didn't quite think this one through. I suppose that's a good thing. I know my brother has quite a lot of debt (nothing like mine, lucky boy) and he cannot be out of a job. He has to make over ten bucks an hour in order to pay all his bills. So most jobs in CC aren't going to cut it. So if I can let him live with us, and be around someone like CS instead of the scum he generally surrounds himself with, it's going to be for the best. He's just not allowed to bring his girlfriend to live with him. One surly boy is enough. I don't need a surly girl who never comes out of her room living under my roof.

My long term English job is up on Tuesday. I'm a little worried about giving them over because I know that they are going to give the new guy a hard time. The person who taught before me was very strict and had the hardest time with this group of kids. I've had a less difficult time getting them under control. But I am a lot younger and let them get away with a lot more than she would ever allowed. But part of it was in self-preservation. I let the bad kids go out in the hall so I could teach the ones willing to learn (somewhat) and I am pretty lenient when it comes to accepting make-up work or how I run my class. I let one boy in 7th period sit at the other desk in my room. I let another freestyle rap for the class, but I did make him pay me for the swear words he said in class. Actually, his friends listening paid me, but I don't care where the money comes from, as long as I get some for the words.

It's funny to me that I'm worried how a man older than me, plus a teaching degree, will handle my classes. I'll probably be a little smug, too, if it turns out he's having a hard time. I can't help it! I'm a bit of a narcissist!

What Are You Doing...Oh...How'd You Find That?

While I was making dinner, (ground beef with egg noodles and tomatoes and some spice) I happened to have a second and I waltzed into the living room to see what CS was doing online. He was reading a blog, actually.

Mine.

By the way.

For a second, I felt a whole lot of anxiety, but that faded away pretty fast. For as much as he's on the internet, I highly doubt he's going to make my blog his priority. Unless of course he wants to read stories about us for "insight" to the crazy. Although, he told me tonight that "I'm easy" so I don't think he's looking for relationship advice.

I guess to find the blog o'Hunter, you just have to use Google Blog search, type in my name, and click "Search the Web" and it will bring you right to my profile on NaBloPoMo.

Thanks, Internet! Making stalking easier since...1995? Or whenever MySpace started.