2010

I got a letter for my 5 year reunion today. Mostly just a reminder that it's happening in May but also a little bit of a prompt to get some numbers on how many people are coming. I TOTALLY want to go. I haven't been to Ohio since before Jacob was born and I miss it. I need it! So much has changed and it's not the same as it was when I left over four years ago but it's still a little bit of home to me. I've been thinking about this reunion for at least a year and I am bound and determined to go. I want CS to come with me since he's been to Ohio but I didn't go with him and he didn't see much of where I was. Of course, Jacob needs to come so he can meet everyone. I just need to find a baby sitter so that I can go to the Backstretch at least once! I can leave an almost two year old with a stranger (to him), right? He'll be sleeping through the night by May, right? Something to strive for, I guess.

Since I haven't been able to go back to Ohio for over a year, I'm finding myself constantly wishing that I could be here for one thing or another. I think about college and crazy things we did or funny things that made me laugh. I miss it. And I know I miss it so much because it's easier to think about the past than face what I'm dealing with now.

Nothing has ever been as good after a night out at the bar than a Hot Potato with everything. No wonder I gained so much weight in college.

The art gallery openings were so much fun until word got out that free wine was served to all and everyone came to get wasted.

Literary dinners at Olmstead's made me feel like I wasn't a clueless idiot. In my snobbier moments, I can lay claim to a long conversation with Dave Eggers about the gypsies in Russia and ice cold shots of vodka but mostly it was just about food, wine, and the occasional deep philosophical conversation in front of the fireplace glowing with candles.

Lunches with a huge table of Kappas and going back for dessert almost every time. Again, no wonder I had high cholesterol there.

Many, many late nights at the theatre. Hanging out in the dark, wearing all black, playing "never ever" like high schoolers. Lunch in the lobby, squeezing in on the couches or crowded around the tables. Working in the office, venting to my "college mom" boss about whatever I needed to get out.

When I was there, I knew that life would be a lot harder on the outside. I knew I couldn't afford to go to school there but I certainly wasn't going to leave in the middle of it. Nothing has topped those three and a half years I spent there, even though not all of it was easy or good. But it was safe and life here in the real world is anything but. I want everyone to experience what I had. Even if it makes life afterwards a little harder. I wouldn't be me without OWU.

I have to say it, sorry, it's just too perfect to not say it: I am OWU.


Goodnight all!

Two Sisters And One Almost

I've never been very good at keeping friends. Since I was homeschooled, I didn't have many childhood friends. There were kids in 4-H, but that was only at fair. There were some "unschooled" boys we played with, but that faded once we started public school. I had one friend in 7th grade, but she moved to Texas. I made a new best friend in 8th grade, and that lasted until 10th grade when I made friends at my new school. At my high school, I had lots of friends. But that faded once I started college. Then in college, I had millions of friends. Groups and cliques and sorority sisters. Of course, I had my best friends there. The ones that knew me best, because they'd seen the worst and stuck around. We grew up together, in a sense. (insert cliche about finding yourself in college) I had great friends in college. Witty, smart, beautiful, and always so happy. Then college ended and we immersed ourselves in the "real world." There's not enough time out here to keep in touch with dozens of friends. But I take great pride in the three relationships I have with my college friends. Out of the dozens, I have three. That seems so small, and a little sad because it used to be four. But those three people are worth more to me than I can say. I don't get to see or hear from them daily, but it doesn't matter. None of them are friends with each other. They are mine, alone. And these three make me want to keep in touch. I don't want to start over. After years of not having a history with someone, I want to keep making it with them.

Blackbird?

No, no. Not a bird!

Sarah B, the one of the infamous Duncan Donuts, has been my friend since...forever? I'm blanking on when we became close, but I know there was a point in time that we decided to be each others hilarious entertainment. Junior year, perhaps? DD, you tell me.

While at OWU, DD was very busy with things like school and homework, RA-ing, and a few boys here and there. One of my first memories involve standing outside the Newport with Sarah, Sally and Sarah's BF. It was freezing cold, but none of us were wearing coats because you don't want to have a coat at a concert, sillies! We took turns walking into an Urban Outfitters just down the street. We were going to a Howie Day concert, but really we were there because Matt Nathanson was opening and he is our hero. Who else tells you that Clusterf*ck isn't allowed on radio airwaves? That's what I thought.

She lived in the Palace too. She made beer bread once. And pumpkin bread. She has cute, flippy hair and she drinks wine on a regular basis. I consider that a friendship-deal maker. She has a dog she can dress up, and I like him! Her bed is always perfectly made. I think she even has pillow shams. We have matching, swirly, and beaded shoes.

I spent part of my Senior year Spring Break in Cleveland with Sarah. She took me to a candy factory, I still have a white chocolate bunny. We went downtown to a fabulous fresh produce market in an old train station building. We also went to the Little Italy part of Cleveland and had lunch at a little place that I recall was odd, but I can't remember why. It was cold and snowy that time I visited, and I had just come back from four days in West Palm Beach, Florida but I recall all of my visit in snowy Cleveland with great joy.

Our next adventure came later, after graduation, when we decided to road trip it to DC. I was driving when we finally arrived in DC, and it's not easy to drive a stick while trying to get through three lanes of rush hour DC traffic and DD is yelling "YOU HAVE TO GET OVER. NOW." Just let me tell you. After that, we ditched the car and spent a few days walking/Metro-ing our way through DC to see everything. "Because it's LAME" can still elicit giggles from me in random quiet moments. Martini bars, squid, hookas, and getting her hooked on Vera Bradley are the highlights of our trip.

She is my friend I know I can spill anything to, right away, without worrying if she's going to be upset. We don't email or chat on the phone like others might, but there have been countless hours of AIM conversations in the past two years. I almost had her convinced to move to Colorado. She did have me convinced to come to Columbus. We're going to Chicago next.

Wanna come? Bring wine.

And Then I Met Sally

*I really want something sweet right now, but I'm not sure what. So I'm delaying the inevitable.*

Before I came to OWU, I heard stories about a girl named Sally. She was from Ohio, she took a politics class, and she didn't have a roommate. When I came to OWU, I didn't live with her that year but we had Geology 110 together at 8 AM on Tuesday Thursday. Together, we suffered through long, boring lectures in the dark and endured the sweltering heat of an especially warm spring with the heat turned on! The next year, Sally and I were suite mates along with two other girls. That year, sophomore year, was pivotal to me as well as my relationship with Sally. She and I became close, once I started therapy and began to "recover" from my first ever relationship and break-up. She took me home for Easter, to decorate Bunny Cakes, learn how to knit, and introduce me to the crazy that is Toledo. I've never looked back. She's always been the one I can tell anything to, despite the many hesitations I might feel before I finally spill it out. I always worry most what her reaction will be, and it's only gotten me in trouble once.

We only lived together one year. I went off to be a Feminist and she lived in a Palace. That's part of why we work, I think. We have always been able to be each other's wailing wall but never the cause of the wailing. At least while we were at school. We'd have weekly dinners, grocery store trips, and a lot of crazy theme parties. She was my Republican Ally, my Oscar Night Date, my SLU wanna-be, my SCG. Senior year, we used to email each other during the day with random crush citings, random tidbits, dinner plans, bar plans, things professors said to us, etc. just to keep each other updated on the minute details of our busy lives. We had different majors, different schedules but that didn't stop us from knowing everything the other did. Or didn't do, in a lot of cases.

Most of my best stories involve Sally. Like when I fell down the stairs at the Winter Palace. I wasn't concerned about my fall, I was wondering if anyone saw her making out with a boy who's name begins with E as they rushed past her room to the stairwell. Or the boy who told me I was "So loud" as I laughed while walking past him. Or the night we dressed up as Rock stars and ended up posing before the Bush/Cheney sign in my window. The weekend we spent on her Bay. Or the countless cookies we made over Thanksgiving.

I may never understand what caused me to leave Ohio after graduation. I had no reason to be home, except for the fact that I could go home. I always say that my friends in Ohio are my soul-mates, and Sally certainly fits in right at the top. Even after college, we still managed to keep the bonds intact. But then my life became stagnate and I struggled to keep my former life part of my present "Party it up" lifestyle. Things were hard, and I didn't know how to fix our relationship. It wasn't until this fall that I felt the return of the SCG/JAO lifestyle. Our conversations are lively, and packed with information, concerns, exchange. Anticipations of visits, places new to us. It's refreshing. It's how it should be. If my friends truly are my soul mates, then the honeymoon is over and the rest of our lives are ahead of us.

How's that for cheese.