Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Oscars Recap...Finally...And It's Not Even Too Brutal

I know I'm a little bit behind on my fashion recap of the Academy Awards, I've gotten enough e-mails and text messages reminding me of this so that even if I had end-stage Alzheimer's, I'd still remember that I HAVEN'T DONE IT YET! My life has been a little nuts lately. I went home for two weeks (and didn't hardly enjoy any of my visit because I was deathly ill) and drove back to Florida Sunday night. I managed to get about two hours of sleep in the car, then a 45-minute nap in the afternoon before I finally crashed for a pleasant 13 hours at 10 Monday night. So needless to say, I've been rather dead to the world and simply couldn't focus on fashion. But alas, I've gathered up the pictures and I'm ready to roll.

This year's Oscar's were sort of bland for me. There weren't a lot of amazingly, outstandingly beautiful looks, nor were there a whole lot of absolutely horrendous ones. I saw a lot of looks that were just in the middle, nice but not great, bland but not heinous. That's not to say that there were still a couple of real winners and losers, but for the most part, the fashion this year was just ehh.



Kate Beckinsale, who didn't attend the awards show but was present at the Vanity Fair party, wore a dazzling, figure-flattering Julien McDonald gown. I loved her simple ponytail and polished makeup, and the dress was sleek and looked amazing on her great figure.




Eva Mendes, who is a perennial favorite of mine, attended the Vanity Fair party in a little black dress that didn't do much for me. While her hair and makeup are almost always perfect, she missed the mark with her black dress. I didn't care for all the poofy tulle - I'd rather see her in a more figure-flattering dress that shows off her curves.




For ceremony host Anne Hathaway, the night was a plethora of misses (with a couple of hits thrown in). Her red carpet hair and makeup (in the first picture) were breathtakingly beautiful. The first dress pictured was worn during the show, and I hated the color on her as well as the dangling beads. I don't think the shape did much for her figure, either. The next dress would have been a perfect 10 if it hadn't been in that gaudy shiny taffeta. I thought the color was absolutely breathtaking against her pale skin, but you could seriously see that shine from outer space. The next dress (the burgundy one) was just ehh for me. It wasn't awful, but it wasn't amazing, either. The shape of the dress was nice, especially for her figure, but the detailing didn't wow me. The red dress she wore on the red carpet and also to the Vanity Fair party was a Valentino gown (whom she wears often). The fit was impeccable, but I didn't like the rosette detailing on the hips. The ivory dress with all the dark detailing worn during the show made her hips look wider than they really are and just was not flattering. The gunmetal tiered-ruffle dress was atrocious, as was the high school prom updo she wore with it. The final dress pictured, the long-sleeved sequined gown, was her all-around best look of the night for me - it flattered her figure, was sufficiently detailed, and the styling with it was spot-on. I do really hope she sticks to acting, though - her hosting skills were beyond sub-par.











Charlize Theron (at the Vanity Fair party) wore an Atelier Versace gown from the Spring '11 collection and I loved it. The simple, one-shouldered column was made interesting with black and silver beading in a starburst design. I loved her simple hair and makeup (she's always perfect in that department). This look gets two thumbs-up from me.



Amanda Seyfried is one of those girls who usually looks either absolutely amazing or incredibly awful. This look was, for the first time for me, just in the middle. Her hair was a bit frizzy and her makeup wasn't great for her fair skin, but I loved the Valentino dress she wore to the Vanity Fair party. It showed off her great legs and had tasteful detailing at the neckline.



Virginia Madsen, who normally screws up her hair but managed not to this time, had one of the better looks of the night. I think the shape of her dress was amazing with her figure, and the textural effects were weird (but good). The addition of a leather band at the waist made it all the more edgy.


Cheryl Hines was just horrendous. Her updo was boring, her eye makeup was too dark, and the dress would have been better suited for someone younger, like Lea Michele or Dianna Agron. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the dress, just not on her.


Oh, Giuliana Rancic. Where do I start? Your body looks unhealthily skeletal, and your fake boobs look out of place because of that. Your fivehead is too big to have your hair back like that so you really need some bangs. Your cheeks are sunken in and you just generally remind me of a starving Ethiopian child. And that's without the dress! The print was awful (though the turquoise color would be nice on you) and the shape wasn't flattering. You need the help of a stylist (and a nutritionist).


Reese Witherspoon is usually a favorite of mine, but this year, she was another fish in the tank of "just nice" looks for me. I didn't care for her fake-hair ponytail, but I did think her simple makeup and emerald earrings were nice. The dress fit her impeccably, but it really didn't do much for me. The white band at the neckline was superfluous - I would have liked the dress better if it was solid black.



In a sea of red dresses, Sandra Bullock was one of the better looks of the night. Not the best, but better. Her simple hair, makeup, and accessorizing were perfect. The only thing wrong with the dress was the strange bow-like flap of fabric over her butt. Otherwise, I thought the color looked amazing on her, and the neckline was interesting and sexy. The fit of the dress was perfect for her figure, too.



At the Vanity Fair party, Madonna wore a black lace outfit that showed off her incredibly toned legs. From the waist up, it looked like a lovely cocktail dress suitable for someone her age, and you look down and see the rest of the outfit and realize it's anything but a typical lovely cocktail dress. And oddly enough, I actually liked it. She's amazingly defying the effects of time, and I for one am glad she's still showing it off. My one complaint is the fur accessory you can see she's carrying in the second picture. Even if it is faux, I don't care for it because it still gives the impression that wearing fur is okay.



Scarlett Johansson looked unreal, hands down. I loved this color on her, especially because she's never really done anything in the raspberry shade. The back of the dress was sexy, and I loved all the lace detailing. At first, I didn't think I liked her hair but looking back through the pictures, I really think I do because something polished or pulled back would have been too severe. The soft makeup showed off her perfect face. My husband even noticed her makeup and commented on how amazing her eyes were (and he never pays attention when I'm watching red carpet stuff).




Selena Gomez (shown with boyfriend Justin Bieber and his new haircut at the Vanity Fair party) looked incredible. I loved her draped red gown and the ruby-colored satin detailing at the shoulders and bust. Her hair and makeup were flawless. I love that she dresses appropriately for her age (18), only showing a slight bit of cleavage without being too racy.



Taylor Swift (at the Vanity Fair party) seriously needs a new hairstylist because I'm so damn sick of this look on her that I'm about to hunt her down, drug her, and just do it myself. She almost never fails to wear this kind of updo on the red carpet, and I absolutely hate it. Her hair in the video for "Back to December" looked so amazing and I wish she'd wear it like that more often (long and straight with edgy rockstar bangs). I also wish she'd stop wearing red lipstick because although that's my personal favorite look, I don't care for it on her. Her mouth is shaped too strangely for it and red lipstick just accentuates that. Now, on the opposite end of the spectrum, I loved her dress. She finally chose to wear something edgy and different, and it really shows off her incredible figure and miles-long legs. So while half of her look just plain pissed me off, the other half was fabulous.




Oh Sharon Stone, we're just so used to seeing you look awful on the red carpet that I barely even noticed it this time. She's 52 and she still looks pretty fabulous, and the shape of her dress really shows off her great figure. The problem is all the feathery shit up at the neckline, and the strange ribbon detailing at the knee. If you took away all that excess detail, you'd have a decent dress. As for her hair, well, you'd need to re-wash and style it to make it work. The giant pouf isn't attractive. Nor is her too-dark makeup that ages her. Soft lips and lighter eyes would make her look 10 years younger.


I still don't really know how I feel about Annette Bening's dress. Her hair, makeup, and accessories were pretty decent for her. But the dress, I just don't know. I like the gunmetal shade and I like that there's some textural detailing as well as some glitz to it. But something about the silver lines going across her boobs bothers me. The shape of the dress is even flattering for her figure, and the long silver lines from the waist down accentuate her already-statuesque shape. But those lines across the boobs are just weird.



I was so excited to see Aishwarya Rai at the Oscars this year. In case you're unaware of who she is, Aishwarya is a former Miss World and one of India's most famous, successful, and acclaimed actresses. The Miss World title was obviously well-deserved considering she is truly one of the most beautiful people I've ever seen in my life. Her look on the red carpet was perfect. I loved her simple hair and polished makeup that showed off her incredible eyes. Her simple bronze dress was figure-flattering and glamorous. I wish I had found a decent picture that showed the detailing at the right hip better because it added interest to the dress without being over the top. She was one of my favorite looks of the night.



Amy Adams managed to not royally eff her look up, thank goodness. Her dress, which I absolutely adore, showed off her perfect figure. The blue sequins were glamorous and looked startlingly amazing with her fair skin. I love that she kept her hair and makeup simple, too. The only downfall is the necklace - I feel like you should skip on neck jewelry when you're wearing a high-necked sequined dress. Other than that, I really loved her look.




When I first saw Cate Blanchett's dress, I thought to myself, "What the hell is that?" But the more I examined the pictures and took notes on her look, the more I realized she's wearing more than a dress - she's wearing art. First and foremost, the fit is perfect. But beyond that, the pearl and bead detailing is amazing. It adds texture and interest without being tacky. Her simple hair and makeup were perfect with her complicated dress. She was one of my favorites of the night.




My friends all give me hell because I'm fond of Celine Dion. That's truly an understatement because in truth, I'm really an obsessive fan and love just about anything involving her. Over the years, we've seen her change A LOT. Her hair goes from long to short, dark to blonde, and her fashion is forever evolving, too. She's made a lot of worst-dressed lists (remember the backwards white suit with the fedora? I happened to absolutely love that) but I think her look for the Oscars will most certainly not put her on one of those lists. First off, it was age-appropriate and sexy without being trashy (the amount of cleavage was c'est magnifique). The color brightened her up, and the texture added interest. Her simple makeup was perfect, and the only thing I would have done differently is her hair - I wish it were more loose waves, but it certainly wasn't awful by any means.





Well, Claire Danes finally screwed up. She was having such a good track record this awards season that I was starting to think she was infallible, but she's managed to prove that she still effs up now and then. I admit, her hair and makeup were spectacular. But the dress she wore to the Elton John party more than vaguely reminded me of a bathrobe. Nothing like being comfortable at the awards parties!




Dianna Agron almost nailed it, but not quite. Her hair and makeup were excellent (I love that she's starting to try out more color on her eyes), but her dress was just a tad bit off. I love the deep blue color, and I actually love the top half of the dress, I just wish it were floor-length. I HATE ankle-length dresses and I don't understand why I keep seeing them because they're just not flattering. If her dress had been floor-length, she would have been a top pick for me.




I like Emma Roberts. She takes fashion risks and tries out interesting shapes and colors and the best part is that she's young enough to do it. I loved the dress she wore to Elton John's party - the gunmetal color and sequin detailing on the bodice was fabulous against her alabaster skin. It was sexy without being trashy (something that a lot of actresses these days are finally figuring out). I wish her eye makeup had been slightly toned down and her hair had been a little different (I don't get the limp pieces hanging on the side) but otherwise, she looked good.



Speaking of Emmas, Emma Stone needs a new hairstyle. I've finally gotten used to her blonde hair, but I HATE these bangs. I'm a fan of bangs more often than not, but hers start too far back on her hairline and make her head look strange. Her hair looked limp and dirty. That being said, I adored the dress she wore to the Vanity Fair party. It was youthful and edgy with excellent details and fun colors, and the fit was perfect. Now if only her hair looked decent.




Florence Welch is one of my favorite singers, but I'm not necessarily a fan of her style. Her lacy, ruffled dress was too close to her skin tone and was downright matronly. Her hair looked so sad, like a little kid styled it (which is unfortunate because I love the color). I appreciate her eccentricities but I really wish she'd try out more flattering looks.





I know a lot of people didn't like it, but I loved Gwyneth Paltrow's look. She's aging beautifully, and her body looks amazing. I loved the sheen on her dress, and the shape was unique and very figure-flattering. Her natural hair and makeup were perfect.



Hailey Steinfeld is sheer perfection. Her ballerina pink dress was girly and very age-appropriate with great textural details. I loved her soft makeup and adorable updo with the simple headband. If she's going to be a regular on the red carpet, I hope she keeps going in this direction because so far, she hasn't disappointed me.



Halle Berry is beautiful and we all know it. Her face is pretty much as close to perfect as it can be. Her body rivals goddess' bodies. But she keeps wearing dresses that I don't love. The top part of the dress was perfectly lovely with excellent beading and the gathered tulle, but there was a discord with the bottom. Something about it made it look like the bottom was an afterthought and they didn't really go well together.



Hayden Panettiere just about always looks great on the red carpet, and her look for Elton John's party was no different. Her makeup is almost always absolutely perfect, and I must give props to her makeup artist for that. I loved her dress because it was simple and elegant with a few fun details that added texture and interest. Another thing I should mention is that I am a big fan of her eyebrows - they're defined and have a great shape and are filled in nicely.




Helen Mirren continues to please me on the red carpet. Her hair and makeup are always age-appropriate and make her look ten years younger. I loved her taupe dress because the shoulders were interesting and edgy and the fit was incredible. She's one of the most elegant and graceful women in Hollywood.




I know Hilary Swank's look got a lot of bad reviews, but I personally adored it. I heard someone say it reminded them of a dirty feather duster, and I guess I understand why it was compared to that, but something about it is soft and glamorous and her styling with it was perfect. This was one of my favorite looks she's ever worn, though the navy blue Guy Laroche dress she wore several years ago was my all-time favorite.



Holy shit does Jennifer Hudson look hot or what? Her orangey-red dress was glamorous and fit her incredible new figure impeccably well. Her retro hairstyle and simple diamond earrings accented the look perfectly. The only thing I noticed when I've looked back through pictures is that her foundation is a tad bit too yellow, but otherwise, her makeup is fabulous and shows off her beautiful eyes. She's the hottest she's ever been.




Jennifer Lawrence has more than redeemed herself - she looked red hot on the red carpet. Her natural hair and smoky eyes were super sexy, and that Calvin Klein dress fit her body perfectly. It was so simple and classy - she was my favorite look of the night. It obviously is a similar look to what Scarlett Johansson wore back in '06 to the Golden Globes, but oddly enough I think Jennifer pulled it off better. Way to go country girl from Kentucky!



Kim Kardashian (at Elton John's party) looked super sexy and fabulous. The last time I saw her in a dramatic dark dress (the Golden Globes) she looked vampire-esque and it just wasn't pretty. This time around, she wore a sexy smoky eye and her  signature nude lips which paired perfectly together. Her dress had incredible textural details and the fit showed off her bombshell curves.




Lea Michele just about always looks fabulous, and her visit to the Vanity Fair party was no different. She really wowed me by wearing a very unexpected blue dress with metallic and velvet details. The fit was perfect for her figure, and the line details down the front elongated her petite frame. I also loved the cutout that showed off her back. Her sleek ponytail and smoky makeup looked hot, and I loved the accent of blue liner on her lower lash line.




I sort of liked Mandy Moore, but sort of didn't, too. Like many of the women on the red carpet, I was really in the middle with her. I loved her Monique Lhuillier dress, particularly the bodice and the sheer sleeves with beading and crystal detailing. But for some reason, I felt like Mandy looked stiff and uncomfortable in it, like she was afraid to move her arms. Her giant stud earrings weren't the right fit for the dress - she should have worn some tiny dangling earrings. I did like her makeup, especially the punchy coral lipstick. But her bland, middle-part hairstyle wasn't pretty with the dress, it was too severe. Soft, loose waves would have been a better fit.




Other than her Snookie-esque hairstyle with bad roots, I liked Maria Menounos' look. Velvet is really in for Spring, and I loved her one-sleeved black dress - it made the fabric look luxurious and not cheap like it often can. Her makeup was nice without being over the top, and her accessorizing was fabulous - I adored the crystal bracelet-cuff-ring thing that just about completely covered her right hand. It was so different from anything else I usually see on the red carpet and with such a simple black dress, it added a touch of glamor and radiance.





Marissa Tomei is so pretty, but she managed to look like a heaping pile of dog shit at the Oscars. Her hairstyle was just strange, and the starburst earrings weren't remotely pretty with her navy blue dress. Then again, I don't know that anything could have saved that awful dress. The bodice wasn't pretty, and the angled skirt didn't go at all. I don't usually expect Marissa Tomei to look that great on the red carpet, which is pretty unfortunate given how attractive she is, but this is one of her worst looks I've seen.



Somehow, Melissa Leo managed to age 15 years since the SAG Awards and I can't understand how. Her too-dry makeup makes her fine lines and wrinkles a lot more prominent - a hydrating foundation with a glow to it would have taken years off her face. While I actually love the dress, I don't love it on her - I'd rather see it on January Jones. She's done this silhouette several times now, so something less structured and a bit more flowy would have been nice.




I feel like Michelle Williams is the modern-day blonde version of Audrey Hepburn (though Natalie Portman is the brunette version, obviously). Her simple pixie hairstyle and soft makeup are so feminine and show off her incredible bone structure. I loved her Chanel dress because of it's gorgeous detailing and impeccable fit. Michelle was my other favorite look of the night, right up there with Jennifer Lawrence.



If her hair hadn't been stiff and boring, Mila Kunis would have been a top look for me. I loved her sexy, girly lavender dress (Spring's hottest color), particularly the lace detailing on the bust and the beautiful draping. Some slightly dangling earrings would have been better, and loose waves would have made me love the look more.




Natalie Portman is positively glowing! Her face was so radiant and I loved her sides-wept hairstyle. The raspberry color of her dress was rich and luxurious, and the draping was perfect with her growing baby bump. I loved the beaded detailing at the neckline, too. My only complaint is her matchy-matchy earrings - they're kind of lame looking. Otherwise, she looked incredible as usual.




I kind of don't even want to talk about Nicole Kidman. To have always been such a style icon, she has consistently looked like shit recently. Her dress looked like some awful wedding dress and I hated that weird flap of fabric on the front. The detailing obviously didn't match and it was just truly a heinous look. Possibly her worst look ever.




Yes, Oprah is one of my heroes, but no, this dress wasn't great for her. I admit, I LOVED the glittery ombre skirt. But the bodice didn't fit her too-huge boobs too well. If it weren't for that, I probably would have really loved the dress.



Even though this isn't my favorite look on Penelope Cruz, I have to give her major props for how amazing her body looks given that she gave birth to a baby just a few short weeks ago. The dress was a great color but I wasn't a fan of the detailing on it. Her simple hair and makeup were perfectly flattering, too.




Odette Yustman (at Elton John's party) looked fabulous - I loved her red dress with the amazing ruching and cutout on the bustline. It fit her beautifully and the color was so radiant on her skin. Her simple hair and makeup paired perfectly with it.