We got up extra early that day (okay, I did...Bill laid in bed and tried to avoid the light oozing out from the hotel bathroom...those things are harsh!) and put on my base make-up and make it to the hair place on time. Christine texted and told me that I could be there at 8:30 (we were originally supposed to be there at 8:00) because the girl who was doing our hair was stopping to get hair wraps. First of all, I don't know what a hair wrap it. Second of all, I am not putting one on my head. This is just about the point at which I decided that I was going to do something really out of character with my hair. I was already up, so I decided to stop at Starbucks on the way to the hair place...thank God for that extra shot of espresso!
I was the first one to the hair place and it looked just like a house. The matron of honor got there shortly after me and went inside. I stayed in my car looking up hair styles on the internet until Christine got there. We went inside and it was a house...an actual house. We hung out in the kitchen, ate bagels, had mimosas...quite lovely if you ask me. The girl who did our hair, I'll call her Big Tits (for obvious reasons and because I could just about see them in their entirety!), saw my Starbucks cup and nearly had a breakdown. Something about the owner hating Starbucks more than anything in the world and then Big Tits proceeded to pour my coffee into a plain cup, find a plastic bag, and hide the Starbucks cup inside of it. Really? Fine...it's your place...just give me my mimosa.
There was another girl helping Big Tits...we're going to all her Bigger Tits...for obvious reasons. Big Tits was working on Christine and the Matron while Bigger Tits did me and the other girls. We all got in our curlers (which hurts like a bitch by the way) and waited around for our hair to set. I cannot stand waiting...especially when you're watching the weather change like you had the freaking Weather Channel on fast forward. When we got to the salon/house, it was windy and humid, but no rain. As we sat there, the rain came in like crazy...great! This is perfect hair weather! Keep it coming, Mother Nature!
As we're waiting, Big Tits and Bigger Tits are fighting over mimosas, telling stories about their kids/husbands/boyfriends, reminiscing over old times, and being quite entertaining. We make some decisions about transportation to Christine's house (which is where we were all getting dressed). Christine starts to freak out a little as she's waiting under the dryer. The Matron gets false eyelashes (which were actually pretty awesome). Finally, Bigger Tits take one of those torturous rollers out of my hair and proceeds to tell me that I'm ready to style. By this time, it's like a monsoon outside and I'm just thinking...do it big. It's going to get big and frizzy anyway...let's really go for it. The picture on the left is what I asked for. The picture on the right is what I actually got! Close, right? LOL...
We left the salon and it was POURING!!! Ridiculously raining on the day of the wedding! It didn't matter though...my hair wasn't going to move! So funny, we went back to the hotel so that Bill could drive me to Christine's house and all people would say about my hair was, "Oh! Your hair!" Not that it looked good or that they liked it...just a totally surprised exclamation of "I hope that shit falls a little bit before the ceremony." Anyway, we got to Christine's house to get ready...got something to eat (thank God...how did I not eat on my wedding day?), got our makeup on (soooo glad I didn't screw up the liquid eyeliner as I had not put that shit on since my wedding 4 years ago), and got dressed so that we'd be able to help Christine get dressed. Christine arrived home in full veil, hair, and makeup and was getting pretty excited. The limo got there (stretch Hummer...something that I've found is not exactly easy to get into with a full length dress on). The photographer got there and started snapping shots. She took pictures of the dress hanging up which I personally love and then Christine had to get dressed. There were like 6 people in the room, so I piped up with, "Okay, you'd better get dressed...who do you want to help you?" The Matron and Mom stayed in there to help. The weird part? The photographer stayed in there too! I could see if she left and the came back in while she was getting zipped in or while she was putting her jewelry on, but to stay in there while she was getting in her dress??? Boobies flying and everything??? I don't think so! That was just weird.
Christine came down the stairs, gathered her dress very carefully, was assured that everything with the dog/house was fine, and made her way to the limo. She had to be very careful due to the monsoon rains that attacked the fine state of Pennsylvania earlier that morning. She did a great job. Off we went...to the ceremony! Here is my favorite picture of Christine from that day...hope she doesn't mine me posting it, but it's just beautiful!
