Since I've been going to the gym more regularly, there have been many things that I've observed that have made me want to go home, lock the doors, and never go out again.
The general public is gross.
The general public is annoying.
The general public is way too concerned about stuff that they can't control.
Now, let's be fair...in this instance, the "general public" may only refer to the gym crowd, but what do I know? It could reach further. I'm stuck in Crazyland way too much to get out more than going to the gym...
Here are a few of my recent sightings that have made me want to shove my gym bag up someone's arse:
- When you finish using a machine, there is no need to wipe it down so severely with antibacterial wipes that it's left dripping wet. Not only did you put a towel down, but I am not using said machine naked. You are not that gross. Relax a little bit and realize that when you leave a machine soaking wet, that totally delays someone's workout...annoying.
- Yesterday I was lucky enough to take pilates (with the Old Dude Pilates Instructor who totally kicks my ass). Hailey and I went in before her dance class to lay out my mat...with two toddlers still in diapers, I need to make sure that I'm in an "easy escape route" in case someone sharts themselves. Anyway, a few minutes after I lay my mat down, this guy comes in and lays his mat right next to mine. It's Grunting Dude from last week. I remember him b/c I couldn't believe that someone would find Pilates so impossible that he had to grunt his way through it. Well, I couldn't move my mat, right? So, I was stuck next to Grunting Dude for the entire class...there were certain times where his grunts resembled sex noises...that was uncomfortable. Then, Grunting Dude starts fucking singing along with the music!!!!! DUDE!!!! Be quiet and keep your sex noises to yourself!
- When I work out on a bench, I put a towel underneath me. I do this for comfort as well as to keep my precious bare skin from touching anywhere that someone else's skin may have touched...God forbid!!! Anyway, if I am courteous enough to lay a towel down and I look relatively clean (which I do, shocker, right?), why furiously wipe that bench down and then lay your own towel over that??? Are you that scared of what I may have left behind???
- While working out, there is no need to obviously throw weight around and grunt through your entire workout...oh, and you're a girl...take it easy...your balls are showing!
- When I've just had my ass kicked by Old Dude Pilates Instructor, and am courteous enough to ask how your first Pilates class went, please don't turn to me and say, "well, I didn't sweat enough." We can all tell from your abnormally skinny legs that you're a Cardio Queen...there's no need to flaunt it.
- If you're talking (full volume) through your entire training session, you're obviously not working hard enough...STFU and put some real effort into it!!! Plus, no one else wants to hear about every single great deal you got on Grou.pon during the last week...I doubt your poor trainer does either. Get to work, woman!!!
So, there you have it...clearly, it's pretty easy to piss me off at the gym.
What bothers you about people?
P.S. - A, I know you're going to be on board b/c of the antibacterial stuff and your love for that, but you know how I feel...I love bacteria! LOL
