- I seriously lie awake at night wondering why the Crazies would want to kill me. I feed them, change them, play with them, do things for them, and yet, they're still trying to kill me.
- We have had a serious lack of REM sleep in this house for about a week now...and it.is.killing.me.
- When I say "we," I mean "me" because Husband "can't hear" the babies on his side of the bed because the heat is too loud.
- Okay, Buddy...
- Yes, I should probably let them cry it out, but they're sick. I hate CIO when they're sick. I just feel that when they're sick I should be a little more understanding.
- Yeah...written in black and white, that sounds pretty stupid to me too.
- Maybe I should adopt the Chinese method of mothering. I'm pretty sure I have it in me.
- It was only Matt waking up, but now Hailey has joined in...her reasoning isn't as desperate at Matt (who really can't breathe sometimes and also has night terrors)...nooooo...she wants lotion. Or she wants to be tucked in...WTF????!!!!????
- Poor Matt really can't breathe though, so as soon as I hear him having trouble, I rise from my incredibly light slumber, stumble in there, grab a tissue, and seemingly try to smother him with it. Nice...take a kid who can't breathe and pinch his nose shut with a tissue. That won't send him into a panic at all! No wonder he's trying to kill me...he probably thinks I'm trying to kill HIM!
- The sad thing is, I usually can't find his nose on the first try, so I'm just repeatedly grabbing different parts of his face. No wonder he has night terrors.
- At one point last night, Husband raised his head slightly to a child-noise and said, "I'm up." Here are the things that flew through my head: "who cares?" "you're too late." "go back to sleep...save yourself!!" "well then why aren't you on your feet?" AND "who cares?"
- This has to end.
- I have to break this vicious cycle.
- Abuse is cyclical...if I don't stop it now, they'll just keep doing it.
- Oh, and we're going away this weekend...kill me now.
- OMG...they're awake RIGHT NOW!!!
- THEY'RE COMING TO GET ME!!!
- SAVE YOURSELVES!!!!
- Oh wait...you don't live here. You're not screwed...it's just me.
Thanks to Danifred for hosting this ridiculous outpouring of emotions...I'm not sure she would actually support it or consider it appropriate to FNL, but she gave me a forum and, dammit, I'm going to use it!
