Friday, January 21, 2011

Brain Scan Complete...I've Only Lost Part of my Mind! (pictures too...yes, I have sharing issues)

So, we discussed in this post my worries about my brain scan...everyone worries about the unknown.  I know it's normal.  It doesn't mean that it still doesn't suck though.

I arrived mostly on time for my appointment...didn't matter though b/c I still had to wait.  Shocker!

I went in.  I took off my rings and my watch.  I locked them away and then gave the key to the tech...and said, "I can trust you, right?"  WTF is wrong with me?

She asked if I ever had a brain scan before.  I answered, "no."  She proceeded to tell me to lie down and that it would take about half an hour.  She offered my a blanket.  I took it.  She then strapped this Hannibal Lecter looking thing over my head.

Image Credit


The panic started to set in a little because I'm claustrophobic...okay, I'm a lot claustrophobic.

She put in some sponges (gross...they've probably been used by so many people that day and they're touching my head...gross) in the "cage" to ensure that I can't move around.  Apparently that's really important or something...I wasn't listening because of the ear plugs that were definitely incorrectly inserted.

Couldn't fix them though b/c of the "cage."

She mentions something about getting a 20 minute nap (pretty likely considering that my oxygen levels are severely dropping due to hyperventilation) and rolls my ass into the machine.

Thank God Sister told me to close my eyes before I went into the machine because I think that saved my life...literally.

Deep breaths...

Scenic imagery...

BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP

You're not going to die...

This is for a good cause...

Yes, they can see you if you start to freak out, but you can only flail your legs, so get it straight before you panic...

WAAAAAHHHHHHHHWAAAAAHHHHHHWAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Fuck...don't wet your pants...
If you wet your pants, you might get electrocuted, so only mild panic, okay?

Who am I talking to?

Myself?

THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP

Did I just fall asleep...shit, I'm not supposed to move.

My brain will be all blurry...

It's not a picture, dipshit...

Well, it kinda is, but I'm sure they have auto-focus or some shit like that to steady the image...

What the fuck are these noises???

Am I moving?  I'm pretty sure I'm moving.

"Okay, we're half way through...I'm going to inject you with the contrast dye now and we'll finish up."

(weakly)  "Okay."

Keep your eyes closed...if you see this cage, you're going to shit yourself.

"Just a little prick right here (that's what she said) and we'll get you back in.  It's completely water soluble, so you'll just pee it right out later."

"What color will it be?"

"Clear.  Here we go..."

God, she said that like it's a fucking amusement ride...

Those people are freaks...

Okay, halfway through...I can do this...

Don't open your fucking eyes...

What the hell is that light?

Don't open your fucking eyes...

BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP

Did I just fall asleep again?  How is that happening???  

I'm going to go deaf b/c I don't know how to work ear plugs.

I wonder if most people know how to work ear plugs.

WAAAAAHHHHHHHHWAAAAAHHHHHHWAAAAHHHHHH!!!! 

OMG...I have the worst itch EVER on my nose...
Crap...now it's on my eye...

Don't chew your gum...why do you still have gum anyway?  Is that even allowed??? 

Did I just fall asleep again?  God, my brain is going to be so fucking blurry!!!

THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP

"Okay, we're all done."
Don't open your eyes until she removes that "cage."

"Are you okay?  A little dizzy?  (cue personal story about her own bout with vertigo)"

So, here are some of my favorite images of my brain.

Yes, you can see my teeth.  Oh, and is my jaw broken???

Holy bug eyes, Batman!  Why are there such gross veins in my tongue???  Gross!!!

See all that empty space up there?  Yeah, that was probably filled with brains and knowledge before I had the Crazies.  Now it's just barren land.  Hmmm...maybe I am losing my mind!