Testing, Testing...Mother in Need of More Patience

I don't know if it's because he's going to be 2 next week or if it's because I'm a total gimp and can't be the mother he thinks he deserves. He's seriously testing me. I am in need of more patience desperately!!!! Can anyone help??

Here are some examples of behaviors from today...that's right...all of this is just today:

1. He is throwing tantrums which consist of throwing himself on the floor and fake screaming and crying until he gets attention. It's hard to walk over him though with my knee...hahahahahahahahahaaaaaa.
2. Not holding hands in parking lots.
3. Fighting being put in his car seat.
4. Sprinting toward busy roads.
5. "Dancing" so hard that it makes him dizzy and he runs into stuff...with his head (this is funny, but it really throws him for a loop).
6. Slapping Hailey in the face.
7. Running up the stairs and going back down again on his ass...30 million times in a row...saying "bomp" each time.
8. Hitting Dog.
9. Ignoring G.G. or stalking G.G. He's a man of extremes.
   
10. Walking/running out of time-out.
11. Trying to take down multiple baby gates...with his bare hands.
12. "Washing" his hands in Dog's water bowl.
13. Kicking...a lot.
14. Running away (which would actually be kind of funny if I weren't the gimp chasing after him).
15. Chasing Dog and Hailey with the hose and slamming them on the head with the shower head thing-y.
16. Splashing a lot in the tub...as well as throwing an entire cup full of water on the adjacent wall...then saying "drips, drips, drips...uh oh, uh oh" as Husband really tried not to kill him.
17. Insisting on having toys that are really far away...thanks, Kid...going up and down the stairs is really awesome right now. Plus your garbled requests are kind of difficult to understand.
    
18. Running away from Husband b/c he didn't want to leave the farm. G.G. said that Husband had to chase him all over the fields in order to corral him into the car.

We did a little bit more today than visit doctors (thank God). We ventured out for storytime this morning (I was a nervous wreck around other people's kids...after all, I can knock my own kids down if they get too close, but people would not like it if I did it to their kids). I tutored this afternoon while G.G. and Husband took the Crazies to the farm for the CSA. I'm beat, but I keep telling myself this could be worse. I seriously have no idea how disabled parents do it...

Here are some pics from today though...what can I say? I gotta catch them doing cute stuff too so that I remember what it's really all about and forget that Friday is Decision Day for Knee.

A Quiet Moment...his only quiet moment of the day

Can you see him flipping me the bird? What is it with this kid???