I decided to take a break and update you about some very important happenings around here.
We have broken the potties out of their boxes. One is pink and one is blue...original, I know.
They make royal celebratory music when something lands on the right sensor.
Can't that electrocute my kid's ass?
Anyway, they're sitting in our nice new bathroom upstairs and I am thoroughly grossed out and perplexed.
First I will go through why I am so disgusted...
Did you know that I (okay, mostly Husband, but still...) will have to clean these things out?
Yes, the pee (easy) and the poop (seriously???)!
That is the most degrading thing I have ever done as a human being.
Did you know that they get up and walk around while they're still peeing???
Yeah, they want to see what's going on down there and who's making that damn music!
That's disgusting.
Did you know that this is a total time waster???
We sit there for a long time and talk about going to the bathroom, but sometimes, it doesn't happen at all.
What an annoying waste of time!
Are you peeing? Yes!
Do you have to pee? Yes!
Did you pee? No!
Do you want to pee? Yes!
Can you pee? blank stare
Let's go get a diaper on and get on with our day...fit of rage.
Do you have to pee? Yes!
Did you pee? No!
Do you want to pee? Yes!
Can you pee? blank stare
Let's go get a diaper on and get on with our day...fit of rage.
Did you know that eventually, they will POOP in the potty??????
WTF???
Why didn't anyone tell me this in our birthing class?
Who is going to clean that out? (Husband)
How does one even go about cleaning that out?
I'm going to puke...seriously...
WTF???
Why didn't anyone tell me this in our birthing class?
Who is going to clean that out? (Husband)
How does one even go about cleaning that out?
I'm going to puke...seriously...
Second, why I'm perplexed...
- Do I need to get potties for the main floor as well?
- Do I need to leave the bathroom doors open or wait for them to tell me?
- Are they too young? They're 22 months old.
- If they touch each other's pee/poop, do I have permission to pass out from sheer disgust?
- How long do I let them sit on the potty?
- Do I really need to have a reward? I mean seriously...it's a freaking biological function...it'll happen anyway if I let them sit long enough, right?
- Is IS considered child abuse to let them be in diapers until college, right?
God, kill me now. I guess I should be thankful that they're showing interest so early...this may save me hundreds of dollars in diapers, right? This may mean that my kids will be taking care of themselves in so many ways, right? This may also mean that they'll be racing from their beds at 5:00 AM trying to make it to the toilet before peeing themselves...and they won't.go.back.to.bed, right??? OMG...they're going to pee their bed, aren't they? Then I'll be doing laundry in the middle of the night. Kill me now...maybe I should rethink this entire thing.
What if they have to go in the middle of the night? Then I can't have them in their cribs, right? God, I'll have to put them in their toddler beds and then all Hell will break loose! Matt will be climbing into bed with Hailey and stealing her Abby doll...she'll be yelling ABBY at 3:30 AM and I'll be breaking up fights shortly thereafter.
Who came up with this idea anyway? Can't we all just have catheters? I loved my catheter in the hospital...loved it. It was my favorite part of the whole process.
Oh well...more to come on this. Any advice would be appreciated...obviously!
Oh, and don't be too nice...I'm not really not too freaked out about this...I just want to make myself laugh and it kind of worked.
