Here's today's schedule:
6:00 - Mom up to shower and wonder how she could have hurt her back/shoulder again...sleeping...yes, sleeping.
7:00 - Dad up to shower and wake up before Crazies emerge.
7:01 - Mom hears first Crazy noises...damn small house with no sound barriers...damn loud shower...damn creaky floors...
7:02 - Mom realizes that she should eat some sort of breakfast.
7:03 - All blog schedule posts become made up or futuristic since Mom needs to finish this and have breakfast. Here's how I see the rest of it going.
7:30 - Crazies up and at em!
7:45 - Mom gets dressed and tries to leave house for cycling.
7:46 - Matt puts Mom's sneakers on.
7:47 - Hailey wants drink from Mom's water bottle. Mom looks for sneakers...where the hell are they???
7:48 - Mom asks Dad why Crazies aren't in their highchairs yet. Dad gets annoyed b/c he doesn't like being told what to do.
7:49 - Crazies say good-bye to Mom and collapse in fit of tears as they won't see her for 1.5 hours. Dad curses b/c it's impossible to get Crazies in high chairs while in the midst of a tantrum. Mom quietly closes the door behind her and feels relief that it's not her who has to clean up that mess.
7:50 - Mom in car to spin.
8:15 - Spin starts...legs feel like they're going to fall off...seriously.
9:15 - Crap...forgot again that this class is 75 minutes...why do I keep coming back???
9:30 - Finally! Done! Rush to car to get home to relieve Dad.
9:45 - Open the door to Crazyland. Dad is vacuuming (intensely) and Crazies are following him around trying to rip attachments off of vacuum.
9:50 - Mom tells Dad to get ready for the gym (because he gets preoccupied trying to gain maximum suck-power out of Dyson) and tries to eat a snack in relative privacy, but Crazies end up begging (yes, begging) for a bit of whatever she's managed to throw together.
10:00 - Dad is off to the gym. Crazies tearfully watch him from front window and Mom takes this as an opportunity to throw more food down her gullet...quietly.
10:05 - Crazies play, Mom cleans up/looks at crap on the internet.
10:06 - Crazies want to play on the computer.
10:07 - Mom's computer time is over...shuts the laptop...ignores crying Crazies.
10:25 - Time for snack and a little TV for the Crazies. Time to pack the pool bag and make lunch.
10:35 - Crazies are fighting over food again and throwing some to Brie (just to drive me extra-specially crazy).
10:40 - Mom announces that snack time is over and decides to start getting ready for swim class. Crazies in suits, admire Crazies in suits, take pictures of Crazies in suits, change poop diaper (never fails), get shoes on, get Crazies in car.
11:15 - Pull out of driveway.
11:23 - Get to club, drag Crazies and pool bag across parking lot that never fails to give me a panic attack.
11:30 - Find Husband and get Crazies (and myself...gasp, gag, gross, wanna keep my clothes on, whine) out of clothes and ready to get into pool.
11:42 - Amble up to pool and jump in...desperately try to remain cheery even though I'm exhausted from spin, my stomach flub is desperately trying to escape from my tankini, I can't remember if I used waterproof mascara, and the thought of blowing bubbles with all of these other kids and adults seriously makes me want to wash my mouth out with anti-bacterial gel...I'm so grossed out.
12:15 - Drag kids out of pool...Matthew is happy, but Hailey is sorrowful. Be on extra alert as Hailey keeps trying to get back into the pool and Matt just wants to throw the mulch from an ill-placed palm tree all over the place.
12:17 - Get into Family Changing Room. Reassure kids that we're "okay" because they're scared of Family Changing Rooms (so many echoes). Get wet suits off and dry clothes on. Repack bag and wait for Husband to get his stuff.
12:30 - What is taking him so long?
12:45 - Home, lunch, change diapers, deal with tantrums from swim-tired Crazies, and off for naps.
1:30 - Mom passes out on couch...swimming seriously exhausts us.
2:30 - Surprised, Mom wakes from slumber, can't believe she fell asleep. Damn...hurt shoulder again!!! How? Slept wrong!!!
Those are our Saturdays right now...if you made it this far, I thank you...what are your craziest days?
If you made it this far, you may agree with Husband that my blog posts are too long, but what can I say? I have a lot to get out and I have no time to get to a therapist right now, so the blog takes the brunt of it. You are wonderful for giving a shit to this point...now, leave a comment so I feel like all of this has a point!
If you made it this far, you may agree with Husband that my blog posts are too long, but what can I say? I have a lot to get out and I have no time to get to a therapist right now, so the blog takes the brunt of it. You are wonderful for giving a shit to this point...now, leave a comment so I feel like all of this has a point!
