Thursday, March 11, 2010

Things I Need To Remember As I Temporarily Resume Adulthood

Holy crap...this is my 400th post...wow.

So, anyway, I'm visiting my sister this weekend sans children.

That's right...all by myself.

So, I was thinking what this weekend would be like. How will I be different?

Here's how:

  • I will not repeatedly ask anyone if they have pooped.
  • I will most certainly not sniff anyone's tushie to see if they have pooped.
  • I will not use the word tushie.
  • I will not ask if the restaurant has a children's menu.
  • I will not wipe anyone's nose.
  • I will not use a Wet-One to sanitize our table and chairs when we go out to eat.
  • I will not survey stores prior to entering to see if our double stroller can fit down the aisles.
  • I will not put anyone in the car before I put myself in the car.
  • I will not over-exuberantly point out trucks, motorcycles, birds, or fire engines when I'm in a car or walking down the street.
  • I will not weigh my bag down with diapers, wipes, sippy cups, snacks, cars, books, or an emergency box of yogurt covered raisins.
  • I will play loud music while putting my makeup on.
  • If someone picks up something that remotely resembles a bat or a sword, I will not remind them that it is not a weapon and that they should not hit anyone and that it is not nice.
  • I will not remind anyone that head butting is a no-no.
  • I will not wonder where random stains on my shirt came from.
  • I will wear shoes inside the house.
  • I will not wonder if teething is the reason for anyone being snippy with me.
  • I will not worry about getting peed on.
  • I will not recite our entire day's itinerary to anyone in a very clear and upbeat voice.
  • I will not wonder if I will make it down the stairs in one piece because my arms are laden with very heavy babies.
  • I will not open or climb gates at every turn.
  • I will not leave the bathroom door open when peeing just in case someone "misses me."
  • I will not worry that my necklace will bruise anyone's head from them repeatedly slamming their skull against my chest.
  • I will not wonder if my hands smell like poop.
  • I will not forget every conversation I have this weekend.
Wow...that is a lot that I will not do.

Seriously though, Husband will do great. He's actually planning an outing or two. That's crazy b/c in all of the time that we have had these two little ones with us, I think that Bill has taken both of them out in public...ummm...let me count...once? I think I'm being generous there (he would definitely disagree with me). He'll be fine though...it doesn't help that heavy rain is forecasted for the entire weekend...that makes it 10x tougher!

I wonder if he'll blog for me...that would be awesome, wouldn't it?

I will miss them terribly, but it's good to get away. I really need to hang with my sister and my Mom...and myself!