I'd Rather Watch The Weather Channel

I went in to have my long anticipated colposcopy today. I wasn't allowed to have it last month because the IUD kickstarted my long lost period and apparently they don't like ripping chucks of your cervix out when you are already bleeding. So I had to wait until today, which is almost four months from when I got the Pap smear that alerted them to the issue. I've been very blase about it, mostly because I wasn't going to let fear of the unknown rule my life. I wish it was easier to get into the clinic, but I also wish I had healthcare and there's not a whole lot I can do about either of those things.

It's probably a good thing I've had a baby before getting an STD since there is a lot of spreading your legs for more than one person involved in this "closer look" business. Plus, there is a camera with video filming the whole time! I felt bad for my cervix, as it started out pink and healthy looking but after they swabbed it with vinegar and iodine then cut out three pieces of it and patched them up with a mustard colored glue, it looked like a bomb had gone off. Luckily, almost nothing hurt. Even the biopsies felt like nothing. My IUD was AWFUL to put in, I felt like I was back in labor all because of the rod they use to pry it open for the Mirena. I'd go through another biopsy tomorrow if I meant I'd never have to get my IUD out.

My doctors agreed that they thought the spots they checked out today looked mostly like HPV and not the beginnings of cancer. Of course, I have to wait for the results but it is good to know that they aren't overly concerned about it. They talked a lot about stress and how the disease often flares up under stressful times. I guess that means I need to relax and allow my body to heal itself in time. Is there a magic way to get to the point where I'm not stressed? Because I really don't need to see the inside of my body anytime soon.