Don't Wanna...

You ever have to do something, but you just don't want to. You know you have to, but you just don't want to. You know that if you don't, there will be consequences, but alas, you just don't want to. It consumes your thoughts. It drags you down. It looms in front of you. It makes you feel like a pouty little kid again. Then the "what if" thoughts start...what if I say what I am really thinking? What if we just don't go at all (avoidance...my favorite coping mechanism)? What if I just don't talk to anyone? What if I try to have a mature conversation to get to the root of the problem? What if I avoid the whole thing completely and pretend like nothing is wrong? What if I scream at the top of my lungs just to relieve the pressure building inside of me? What if there is no perfect scenario?

What do you do in these situations? I know we've all been there...how do you cope? The thing is, I've been in this position many times and it never ends up being as bad as I think it's going to be. It's just the build-up...I hate the build-up!!! I'll just keep taking deep breaths, creating possible scenarios (and my responses to such scenarios of course), and pretending like everything is fine...that makes sense, right? Yeah, right...just go against every urge you have to tell the truth and to make your thoughts known because in the end, no one cares anyway, right? Am I right? How do I know? Will ignoring it really make it better? Will glossing over things really make the whole picture pretty again? Is that even possible? Ugh...I just don't know. I'm at a loss. I'll just go with my instincts and try to make it as bearable as possible. That's what I'll do. I can do that, right? Can I? Can I really do that? I guess we'll see...