Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Flexibility

New ideas stir from every corner. The show up disguised innocently as interruptions, contradictions and embarrasing dilemmas. Beware of total strangers and friends alike who shower you with comfortable sameness, and remain open to those who make you uneasy, for they are the true messengers of the future. ~ Rob Lebow

One of the things that I was most concerned about when we found out we were pregnant with twins was the fact that we were going to have to be very flexible with two babies around. Bill and I are, by nature, slightly rigid people and like to have things the way we want them. Bill is this way a little more than I. The pregnancy was the first stop on our road to being more flexible people. From the sheer exhaustion and sickness in the first trimester, to the pain, anemia, and gestational diabetes in the second, to the inability to move in the third, we knew we were in for it. The pregnancy was like practice for our new, more flexible, lives.

When the babies got here, they completely took over. We had hardly any control, but what control we had, we took it. We put the babies in their cribs from the first night, fed them together, put them to sleep together, and basically tried to get them on a schedule. So many people in real life and on the internet said that it was impossible to get babies on a schedule so early, but we were determined. In the end, it worked...our babies are on a good schedule and they know the routine. They are happier because of it in my opinion.

As they get older and we try to do more things outside of the house, there is another layer of flexibility that needs to be gained by me and Bill, but also by the kids. Things are not the same here every single day. If they were, it would be boring and there would be no growth. So, while I am trying my best to stick to our routines, I am also trying to introduce new things and let the kids learn that days will be different. They are learning coping methods to be able to handle these days and have handled it wonderfully in my opinion.

The person who I am most proud of is my husband. He is a pretty rigid guy...there are no two ways about it. He is neat, fairly organized, has his schedules laid out, makes lists, has endless pages of budgets for our coming months, has long reaching plans to put our family in the best place possible, and enjoys going to the gym 3-5 times a week. That is his outlet. He doesn't drink, overeat, smoke, do drugs, or imbibe in anything harmful to himself or his family. He likes to work out and I try to give this to him as much as possible. With our family income going from two paychecks to one, he has been incredibly apt in stretching the money so that we are not only covering our household expenses, but continuing to pay things off (work on the house, cars, school loans) at a rate that will benefit us in the future. He has rearranged his schedule at work so that I can tutor (that's a need, so he's not too upset about that...it is money coming in after all) and has never given me any problem about doing something that I want to do. With the added stress of not having family around to help out with the kids, he has really stepped up as a partner and I am so thankful for this. We have a partnership and of this, I am proud.

I think it's hard for people to really understand our life. Yes, we're pretty good at handling the twins, but we run into our own set of issues that no one in our circle has really had to deal with. Oh, and we don't complain very much. I don't have any close friends who have ever had twins. That being said, my friends have been incredibly understanding and complimentary. This, I appreciate more than I can say. Flexibility has been something that mothers need...they cultivate the ability to say, "no problem" or "yes, we can work that out." It amazes me every time and I am working toward that with all of my might! I don't have a choice! I should go back to doing yoga...when I did yoga, I was flexible in body, mind, and spirit. I miss a lot, but the guy that I did yoga with on TV is only on one channel and to get that channel, you have to order a whole package...that's not very flexible, is it???