Is there a polite way to say "just don't call me" to another mother who is having difficulties? probably not. She's in my mother's group, she has just had the first of the second batch of babies, she suffers depression and anxiety (still too frightened to drive two months after baby #2 was born, for instance), and yesterday she called me for a chat, clearly fishing for a catchup invitation. she makes weird inappropriate comments about my treatment and asks questions I don't want to answer, like "does it hurt?". she did not even consider bf-ing and tells me how well her babies sleep because they're on bottles. and while I believe she is fully entitled to help and support with whatever issues she has in her life, why me? I am in treatment, I don't have time for my work and my own friends, and I really am not psychologically generous enough to give her support with the two-baby thing. and yes, she does know that I probably won't be able to have another. I'm supposed to call her when I'm next going by there on the way down to the village. the thing is, I'm not doing that walk much at the moment because I'm spending that time in hospital every afternoon instead, and I just don't want to. I'm drained enough without adding draining people to my life, surely? am I a bad person?
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Is there a polite way to say "just don't call me" to another mother who is having difficulties? probably not. She's in my mother's group, she has just had the first of the second batch of babies, she suffers depression and anxiety (still too frightened to drive two months after baby #2 was born, for instance), and yesterday she called me for a chat, clearly fishing for a catchup invitation. she makes weird inappropriate comments about my treatment and asks questions I don't want to answer, like "does it hurt?". she did not even consider bf-ing and tells me how well her babies sleep because they're on bottles. and while I believe she is fully entitled to help and support with whatever issues she has in her life, why me? I am in treatment, I don't have time for my work and my own friends, and I really am not psychologically generous enough to give her support with the two-baby thing. and yes, she does know that I probably won't be able to have another. I'm supposed to call her when I'm next going by there on the way down to the village. the thing is, I'm not doing that walk much at the moment because I'm spending that time in hospital every afternoon instead, and I just don't want to. I'm drained enough without adding draining people to my life, surely? am I a bad person?
