but I'll say this for it: in a world where we spend a lot of time comparing ourselves to other people, or other possible selves, it's making me feel lucky, for now. because I am not currently a person with terminal cancer. I am more happy than ever to carry out menial tasks for my child, just because I'm glad to be here to do it. I could, of course, be dwelling on what life would be like without it (3 months pregnant?). but that just ends in me beating up on myself for not going to the dr earlier. so I don't. I compare myself to those who haven't survived it, to a possible me who had metastasis, and I try to feel lucky.
I did my last, I hope, blood test today, before the last, I hope, chemo tomorrow. those levels had better be up there, because I'm so OVER sitting and smiling at A. while a nurse draws blood, like it's fun or something. at least radio will be a different form of insult to my body.
