my sil's sister is dying of cancer - melanoma, in all corners of her body. I love my sil and her three kids and my brother. but I've stopped calling them. because they want to tell me how her sister's doing, what the brain surgery did to her, about her pain relief, etc. they just don't get it; the girl with non-metastatic cancer may just be a bit squeamish about the one with extensive metastasis. but it's her dear sister and I can't say "shut up". dropped a hint to my parents and I hope that will get through.

similarly, the woman in my mother's group who has just, quite complainingly, brought forth her second child? I know she has problems with PND and not much social support. but I'm giving myself permission (how American of me) to not be the one supporting her. listening to someone complain about the hardships of two babies would be more than I could do graciously right now.